From the moment I first saw the amazing movie poster, I have dreamed of watching Rocket Tarzan
(1963). For the longest time, that was easier said than done, but the
current copyright holders have finally put a nearly complete version on
Youtube, and my dream has been fulfilled. Well, kind of - the print is
grainy and occasionally skips, the sound drops out completely from time
to time, and most seriously, there are no subtitles. Ive managed
to watch the occasional movie without benefit of subtitles in the past,
but Rocket Tarzan is particularly tricky since there is so much
apparently going on and I still have yet to find a single plot summary
online.
Here's what I've been able to figure out. Tarzan lives deep in the
jungles of India or possibly Africa; either way, sometimes he fights
lions and sometimes he fights tigers. he's not alone in the jungle,
though. There's a nearby kingdom, which may be a surviving Roman
colony, or may be an ordinary isolated kingdom with a fondness for
cosplay. There is also a brilliant professor, his beautiful daughter,
and his laurel-and-hardyish lab assistants/comic relief sidekicks. The
professor is trying to build a rocket to travel to the moon. The people
of the mystery kingdom are helping him, but a guy with a mustache wants
the rocket for himself! Fortunately, Tarzan is there to help, and also
fortunately the comic sidekicks are surprisingly competent; one of them
gains superhuman strength and combat skills when he drinks from the
bottle he always carries with him, but I'm not completely sure if it's
some sort of potion or he's just a mean drunk.
After many shenanigans and kidnappings and narrow escapes the main
characters all climb aboard the rocket (with Mustache Guy stowing away)
and fly to the moon, where they discover ancient ruins, cheap sets,
giant cardboard stars, and a big-nosed evil alien who sends a robot (or
"Robert," as he keeps saying) to attack our heroes. (They are actually
menaced by two apparently unrelated robots. The one from the poster is
by far the more convincing of the pair.) The Robert is defeated, the
big nosed alien is blown up, and then Tarzan faces Mustache Guy in, and I
am not making this up, a lightsaber duel.
Rocket Tarzan is obviously very different from the Bollywood movies of
today; with all the narrow escapes and sudden twists and turns it's
structured more like an old fashioned movie serial, like Commando Cody
with occasional musical numbers. I'm not sure if my experience really
counts as watching the movie, since I'm still not clear on what just
happened, but on the other hand, I don't know if it would make much more
sense even with subtitles. Either way, though, I'm still counting this
as a dream fulfilled.