No rockets. Just Tarzan.

 Adventures of Tarzan (1985) is a product of the golden age of Bollywood plagiarism, a time when you could pad out your Tarzan movie with songs lifted from The Sound of Music. At its best, it's the kind of movie I that I can use the sentence "Tarzan incapacitates the snipers with thrown guitars" when summarizing.  At it's worst . . . well, we'll get to that.

 

Tarzan (Hemant Birje) is a legendary figure, believed to live somewhere deep in the jungles of India.  When circus owner Krishnakant Verma (Narendranath Malhotra) sees a news report about a recent Tarzan sighting, he hires big game hunter D. K. (Dalip Tahil) to capture the wild man so he can force him to perform in the circus, because that's much easier than hiring an acrobat and having them dress up as Tarzan.

 D. K. teams up with shady archeologist Shetty (Om Shivpuri), who is leading an expedition to discover the lost civilization of Shakhabhumi.  Soon they're joined by Shetty's estranged daughter Ruby (Kimi Katkar), who traveled thousands of miles to tell her father she hates him, but reconciles with him almost immediately and is soon hanging around the expedition and occasionally wandering into the jungle.

 At night the expedition members can hear Tarzan's cry echoing through the jungle, and occasionally stragglers are carried off - not by Tarzan, by a problematic tribe of angry natives and their enormous Chief (Gorilla, and that is the actor's screen name; I'm not editorializing) but everyone assumes that Tarzan is responsible for everything bad.

After sneaking off to bathe in a river, Ruby is attacked by a rubber crocodile, and rescued by Tarzan.  She drives him away with her pistol.  On another day,  she's bitten by a venomous snake, and Tarzan saves her again.  At this point it's getting dark and she doesn't know how to get back to camp, so she embraces her narrative roll and falls in love with Tarzan instead.  

In the morning Tarzan takes her back to the camp, and D. K. and the others immediately shoot at him.  From here things proceed as you might expect, alternating between jungle peril and the developing romance.  Ruby sings a song as she tries to teach Tarzan the English alphabet for some reason, and in another scene she's abducted by natives.

One day, while Ruby is in the jungle making friends with all of the stock footage animals, the natives attack the expedition and wipe out nearly everybody, except for D. K. and his personal henchmen.  Tarzan fights the natives, but D. K. takes the opportunity to tranquilize Tarzan and capture him and Ruby.

 D. K. delivers Tarzan to the circus, and he plans to force Ruby to marry him, but it's soon clear that the only way they can get Tarzan to cooperate with the show is by directly threatening Ruby, so that's what they do.  D. K. and Verma add her to the show; she'll sing while Tarzan performs feats of acrobatics, then after the first night D. K. will forcibly marry her.  They plan to have snipers with rifles placed about the tent to keep Tarzan in line, but they don't have a backup plan in case Tarzan incapacitates the snipers with thrown guitars, and they really didn't count on a small army of jungle animals attacking the city to rescue their friend.

This in sot a good movie, but it's generally on the pulpy side of ridiculous. It's also structured like a King Kong movie rather than a Tarzan movie, with Tarzan treated as a figure of legend, the ruthless hunter, the kind woman who touches the ape-man's heart, and the greedy showman who refuses to cancel his exhibition despite being clearly warned about his impending doom.

 

I would probably like it a lot more if it wasn't so damned sleazy. It's not so much Ruby's skimpy costumes; that's in genre for both tarzan and Kong..  It's the fact that Ruby is repeatedly threatened with sexual assault, by D. K., by the natives, and even by two random sailors he meets while traveling to join her father in a scene which  doesn't connect the plot and seems to be there to establish that Ruby has a gun and isn't afraid to use it, though after shooting the sailors she goes on her way, and only uses the gun to scare Tarzan during their first meeting.  The movie opens with a flashback to a woman (presumably Tarzan's mother, but they never really spell out his origins)  dragged off screaming by the natives after watching her husband being murdered.  Sexual assault as a plot device was distressingly common in the Bollywood of the eighties, but this movie really leans into it.

In other words, tone is a serious problem here.  The movie wants to be light hearted pulpy and romantic fun,  but it's a bit too enthusiastic about putting its heroine in peril, and while Bollywood has never been good at portraying Adivasi communities, this movie is particularly bad about that as well.  There are some fun bits, but if you want Tarzan, you might be better off just reading the books.

 

 

Chhota Bheem and the Inevitable Remake

 It seems like every other day a new Bollywood cinematic universe begins, but the Spy Universe, the Cop Universe, and the Maddock Supernatural Universe can't begin compete with the sheer volume of material released  for the Chhota Bheem franchise. Bheem and his pals have been all around the world, fighting pirate Vikings, meeting aliens, gaining super powers, and spawning at least five spin-offs.  (It's hard to keep up.)  And now, in Chhota Bheem and the Curse of Damyaan (2024), Bheem and his friends cross over into a whole new world: live action.

In the deep desert outside the tiny kingdom of Dholakpur, something is stirring. A celestial convergence, combined with a weird green meteorite thing, has weakened the seal imprisoning the great serpent mage Damyaan (Sumikt Keshri), and he has dispatched his shapechanging servants Skandhi (Makarand Deshpande) and Takshika (Navneet Kaur Dhillon) to find a pure hearted warrior of great power to break the last seal, so that Damvaan can rise and use his ultimate power to turn all of the humans in the world into snakes.  This is normally the sort of problem that you get Conan to handle,or at least Ator, the Fighting Eagle, but Dholakpur doesn't need them, because it has Bheem (Yagya Bhasin.)

Bheem is a kid, but he's not an ordinary kid.  He's really strong (especially after he's eaten laddoos), consistently brave, reliably heroic, and just generally nice.  He's also loyal  and humble, happy to solve everyone's problems and protect the reign of the good king Indraverma (Sanjay Bishnoi.)  He doesn't work alone,though - he's usually accompanied by Chutki (Aashriya Mishra),  his sassy platonic gal pal; Raju (Advik Jaiswal), his bald sidekick; Kalia (Kabir Sajid), a somewhat reformed bully who would be the strongest kid around if not for Bheem; Kalia's twin sidekicks Bholu and Dholu (Divyam Dawar and Daivik Dawar); and Jaggu (Aryan Khan) the blue CGI monkey. They are also friends with Indraverma's daughter Indumati (Swarna Pandey) but she doesn't have much to do in this one.

While Bheem's friends are busy preparing for his upcoming birthday, Skandhi and Takshika are hard at work being evil.  They ambush a friendly merchant bringing supplies into town, take his place, arrange a painfully transparent scene in which Skandhi apparently saves Indraverma from a deadly snake, and just to be on the safe side they sneak out at night and burn the village's crops using their snake magic.  This is bad news for the kingdom,which means that Indraverma is desperate enough to listen when they suggest an expedition to find Sonapur, the lost City of Gold, buried deep within the desert sands.  Skandhi predicts that the king is the fabled mighty and pure hearted warrior who can unlock the lost city, and off they go into the desert.

Naturally, the kids come along on this dangerous expedition. Bheem is deeply suspicious of these strangers, but all of the adults are happy to ignore every warning sign, including the wild-eyed sage (Chandrashekhar Dutta) ranting about the danger of releasing Damyaan.  They find the seal, and Indraverma tries his luck, but he's into the prophesied warrior.  Neither is Kalia, so Skandhi suggests that Bheem try.  Bheem doesn't want to, but he obeys his king, and the seal is opened. This does not reveal Sonapur, it releases Damyaan, because that was the evil plan all along. 

Bheem and his pals put up a good fight, but Damyaan is just too powerful, and they are quickly defeated.  Rather than taking the opportunity to turn them into snakes, Damyaan imprisons them all and goes about his evil,business. Fortunately, the sage they met in the desert has also been imprisoned, and he is able to provide them with valuable exposition about the last days of Sonapur and how the ancient Guru Shambhu (Anupam Kher) sacrificed his life to seal the immortal serpent mage away. They quickly hatch a plan: Bheem and his friends will travel back in time to defeat Damyaan before he can become immortal, which will prevent him from escaping and nobody will be turned into a snake.  And Indraverma can stay in the present and think about what he's done.

Sonapur in the past is a world of amazing magic,with flying vehicles and street vendors conjuring gold vases out of mid-air, but it has also been nearly conquered by Damyaan and his minions, so Bheem and the gang must move quietly in order to make contact with the resistance and find Shambhu.  And that plan falls apart immediately as soon as Bheem sees someone in trouble.

This is a kids movie, and it's clearly playing to its target audience. However, the scope of the story is a lot different than what you usually see in Paw Patrol; Bheem and his pals are kids TV archetypes, but they're embroiled in a high fantasy plot with a Sword and Sorcery villain and a time travel twist,and all of the elements blend surprisingly well.  It's a decent rollicking fantasy epic, but for kids.

Though the time travel rules are total nonsense.  Once the kids arrive in the past, everything proceeds on the same schedule as the present,including the countdown to Bheem's birthday, and they have a deadline based on the future which determines how long they have in the past.  The past is a different country rather than a different time, though defeating Damyaan still works.

Count the snakes.

 Monica, O My Darling (2022) begins as it means to go on, with murder.  Factory worker Dev (Shiv Chauhan) barely has time to announce his engagement to Shalu (Zayn Marie Khan) when he's attacked and killed by an industrial robot.

Six months later, Shalu's brother, brilliant engineer Jayant (Rajkummar Rao) is attending the company gala for Unicorn Robotics.  Things are going well for Jayant; he's just been appointed to the board of directors, and he's engaged to Nikki (Akansha Ranjan Kapoor), daughter of Unicorn's CEO Satyanarayan (Vijay Kenkare.)  He's also kind of a terrible person; he's openly dismissive of former childhood friend Gaurav (Sukant Goel) and he's having an affair with Monica (Huma Qureshi), the company secretary who is also performing a big dance number at the gala for reasons that are never explained.

After the gala, Jayant and Monica are enjoying some "alone time" when she announces that he's pregnant.  She make sit clear that she's keeping the baby and that she will take care of it herself and not tell anyone who the father is, as long as she's provided with large sums of money at regular intervals.

The next day, Jayant receives an anonymous letter with incriminating photos of him and Monica, asking him to meet the sender at a sleazy hotel.  Jayant assumes that it's Monica attempting to formally blackmail him, but it turns out to be Nikki's brother Nishikant, who reveals that Monica has also been blackmailing him, along with the hapless and very married accountant Arvind (Bagavatyhi Perimal).  Nishikant insists that there's only one solution to all of their problems; they need to kill Monica.  He pressures the other men to agree, then they draw lots to decide who will do the killing, who will transport the body, and who will dispose of it.  Then Nishikant makes them sign a contract detailing the arrangement; since he's the assigned killer, he doesn't want to take the fall alone.

 The plan is overly complex, involving luring Monica from Pune to Mumbai, with Jayant driving for miles in a borrowed van before taking the train back home, hopefully before Nikki has time to wake up.  It's hectic, but everything seems to work until Jayant delivers the body to Arvind, who is supposed to bury it in the woods.  Arvind is far too hapless to handle the job on his own so Jayant reluctantly stays to help bury Monica in the woods, but the men are chased away by a leopard.

The next day, the body is found in the woods, still wrapped in a yellow tarp, but it's not Monica's body, it's Nishikant's.  Monica is apparently fine, and still cheerfully insists on being paid.  But it's clear that there's something else going on; Arvind is killed by a snake someone sent in the mail, and Jayant barely escapes his own snake.  People are dying, and quirky detective Naidu (Radhika Apte) is closing in on Jayant.

Jayant makes for an unusual protagonist, because he really is a terrible person.   On the other hand, the audience isn't really expected to root for him, just watch in bemused fascination as he struggles to avoid his fate.  Much of the time he's passively terrible, selfish and hypocritical but not actively malevolent, but he's willing to do awful things in order to protect his comfortable life.  Monica is also terrible, but is more honest about what she wants and displays more agency in general, which makes her a more sympathetic character.  

Monica, O My Darling is a black comedy rather than a proper film noir, but the twisty plot hangs together, and the killers (there are multiple murderers) have understandable motives.  The film is deeply cynical, often funny, and surprisingly fun.

Wrestling with love.

 Sword and sandals movies, also known as the peplum genre, were big in Italian cinema in the early Sixties.  It's a very simple formula:  cast a well muscled and macho actor as a legendary figure form history or mythology, throw in a bevy of beautiful women, add a scheming villain and some monsters to fight, and watch the magic happen.  Despite the mythical setting, the budget can be kept quite low, because the real draw is the hero performing feats of strength, and key plot elements can be recycled from movie to movie, so it's easy to crank out a number of pepla in short order.  There's no way that Bollywood would let a trend like this pass them by, especially when hunky wrestler/actor Dara Singh is right there.  Which is why we have Samson (1964).

The movie jumps straight into the action.  Samson (Dara Singh) is a very strong man who lives in the forest, but he has made his way to Hasnapur, a city of sort of Amazons in order to rescue a goat, which was taken from the forest by one of the women.  Men are forbidden in the city, with a couple of notable exceptions, but that doesn't stop Samson; he knocks down the city gates, defeats a giant (played by Singh's old wrestling rival King Kong) and meets with Rashid (B. M. Vyas), the city's vizier and high priest of the god Mukkadas.  Rashid hands over the goat and Samson leaves.

This angers Sheba (Mumtaaz), queen of the city, so she rides out into the forest to take the goat back.  She loses control of her chariot, but Samson is there to rescue her, and when faced with this large, handsome and kind man she feels an immediate attraction, which will not do at all.  After sending some decidedly mixed signals, she yells at Samson and leaves.

Sheba is angry because love is forbidden in the city, by order of Mukkadas.  That's why the city is almost entirely inhabited by women, and if any woman should fall in love the city will burn down.  Which doesn't stop Laila (Ameeta), Sheba's chief handmaiden.  Laila has been secretly meeting with the young, handsome and roguish Salook (Feroz Khan), and that means love songs in secluded palace gardens.  (Mukkadas doesn't seem to have considered the possibility of women falling in love with women.)

Of course it's all a scam.  Rashid is secretly an evil sorcerer and master of a sect of orange-robed cultists, and he fakes the miracles of Mukkadas using three powerful spirits, Aag (who produced fire), Paani (water) and Hawa (wind.)  Rashid plans to take open control of the city, but first he wants to find and kill the missing Prince Salook, Sheba's older brother, who was smuggled out of the palace as a small child.  He has his cultists searching the area for a man who bears the city's decidedly medieval coat of arms on his back, which is either a really large and elaborate birthmark or somebody tattooed a baby.

Meanwhile Sheba is confused by her strange feelings for Samson.  Laila carefully explains that these feelings are love, and that love is actually quite nice, but Sheba knows that love is forbidden so she resolves to end the problem by killing Samson, and sets out in the rain, bow in hand, to do just that.

Before she can fire her bow, Sheba is attacked by stock footage of a tiger, and Samson rescues her with the power of wrestling.  Sheba faints repeatedly, and suddenly it's raining, so Samson takes her to his own cabin and places her in his bed.  There's a moment when he's clearly considering kissing her, but Samson isn't a creep and so he goes outside and chops wood in the cold rain instead.  Sheba was secretly awake during the almost kiss, and Samson proving himself a decent dude is enough to win her over completely, or at least enough for her to stop trying to murder him.

The, trouble.  Someone overhears Laila and Salook singing love songs.  he escapes, she;s captured, and while the law says that women are not to be punished there's an exception when they refuse to give up their canoodling partner, so despite Sheba's protestations Rashid sentences Laila to be fed to what the subtitles refer to as "The Scary Beast."  Salook shows up to take her place as Scary Beast kibble, then Samson shows up to help defeat the beast.  Salook is saved, the ladies are delighted, the city celebrates, and Rashid must come up with a new plan.

He tries using a genie as an assassin, but Samson just wrestles it to death.  The next step is poison, specifically a potion made from the venom of twenty one different snakes, a brew so toxic that just touching it will be enough to kill a man.  He invites Samson and Salook to a banquet in their honor, and has Sheba offer them "sacred Mukkadas water" to drink.  Samson insists on trying it first, and he changes color for a moment, but he's so strong that the poison doesn't kill him, it only makes him angry.  He blames Sheba, and stalks off back to the forest with Salook in tow.

Fortunately, the rift between Samson and Sheba doesn't last long, because Dara Singh and Mumtaz are genuinely adorable together, with a sparkling chemistry that you don't generally get in a peplum movie.  Once the good guys are united and Rashid has seized complete control of the city, it's time to settle matters Samson style, which means walls will fall and pillars will topple.

 

I do not know if this movie is supposed to be set in ancient Judea, ancient India, or some imaginary kingdom; Hasnapur is a real place in India, but I can't find any refernece to scary beasts and Amazons.  Despite the setting and the snazzy haircut, though, Samson is recognizably Samson.  He's strong, and his strength comes from his faith in the one God he follows.  On the other hand, he's a whole lot nicer than the Biblical Samson and makes a much better boyfriend.

For the most part Samson is very similar to a traditional peplum film.  The songs are an obvious difference, but I think the plot is also a bit more direct; it helps that the "haughty Amazon queen" is the primary love interest rather than the secondary antagonist, which both simplifies the cast and removes any need for Samson to lose his memory and spend a soporific idyll in her clutches.

On the other hand, like a lot of peplum, the movie is padded.  In this case, it's padded with wrestling.  So much wrestling.  Samson wrestles King Kong for no apparent reason.  Samson wrestles a tiger.  Samson wrestles a genie.  Four of the evil cultists turn out to be wrestlers, leading to even more wrestling.   

In the end Samson is a fun movie, in the same way that the Hercules movies I used to watch on cable TV as a kid were fun, with the palpable chemistry between Singh and Mumtaz as an added bonus.  I'm going to have to track down Singh's Hercules as well.

Bhooty Call: Chandramukhi

 If you've seen the first Bhool Bhulaiyaa, then the plot of Chandramukhi (2005) is going to sound very familiar.  There's a reason for that; both movies are a part of a chain of remakes in different languages, stretching back to the 1993 Malayalam film Manichitrathazhu.  Still, casting matters.  This is a Rajnikanth movie, so the viewer can expect extra fight scenes, plenty of dancing, a song about how Indian village life is just better, and of course Rajni's usual understated humility.

The movie opens, like so many ghost stories do, with a dispute over building contracts.  An important contract has been awarded to Ganesh Construction, run by Senthil (Prabhu), and his angry rivals respond by trying to kidnap a vanload of Ganesh employees, but they are immediately rescued by Sathil's adopted brother Saravanan (Rajnikanth), a respected psychiatrist who has just returned from America.  The angry construction thugs vanish from the movie right after that, along with the whole contract dispute plotline; they seem to be in the film in order to be beaten up, assuring the viewer that yes, this is indeed a Rajnikanth movie.

Senthil has another problem, though.  He's recently married Ganga (Jyothika), but his mother had promised to marry him to his cousin Priya (Malavika), thus putting an end to an interfamily feud.  Priya's family don't know that Senthil is married now, so Saravanan offers to explain things to Priya's aunt Akhilandeswari (Sheela) and the rest of the family, and check out the haunted castle Setnhil bought while he's in the neighborhood.

Obviously, the family assumes that Saravanan is the promised groom, and though he tries to explain they really don 't let him get a word in edgewise, so instead he goes to check out the palace.  It is supposedly haunted by the spirit of Chandramukhi, a dancer in the court of the wicked king Vettaiyan.  When he found out that Chandramukhi was in love with Gunasekaran, he killed them both.  Chanramukhi's angry ghost returned for some serious haunting, but he had the ghost sealed in a Room Which Must Never Be Opened, guarded by a giant snake, then left town.

Sethil and Ganga arrive and clear up all the confusion.  They announce their intention to move into the haunted castle, and Akhilandeswari decides that everyone will move into the haunted castle.  And they do, and everything is fine.  Saravanan meets Durga (Nayanthara), the gardener's granddaughter, and he flirts with her by acting like a jerk at every opportunity until she realizes he has a good heart after all.  Meanwhile, Ganga becomes more and more fascinated by the story of Chandramukhi, and decides to open the Room Which Must never Be Opened.

After Saravanan is called away to attend to a patient, she gets her chance.  She convinces Durga to help her get a key made, and they open the room.  Ganga is delighted, but things start going wrong almost immediately, when the blacksmith who made the new key suddenly dies.  Things start getting spooky, with a mysterious voice singing at night, Ganga's sari mysteriously catching on fire, and a near fatal fishtank accident. The family quickly decides that Durga must be responsible.

And then Saravanan returns, just in time to foil an attack on Priya, though no one gets a look at her assailant.  It is time for Saravanan to bust a ghost, but to do that, he needs to figure out who the ghost is.  (It's Ganga, obviously, but he needs to figure that out.)

As in Bhool Bhulaiyaa, there's some question about whether the ghost is real or just a manifestation of Ganga's psychological problems, and as in Bhool Bhulaiaa, it doesn't really matter.  Saravanan's psychological approach seems to help, and so does the exorcism performed by the intimidating sage Ramachandra.  The psychiatrist and sage work well together, rather than arguing over whose worldview is correct.

The narrative is a bit more jumbled this time, though.  In addition to the evil contractors who appear in the opening and are never seen again, Akhilandeswari has an ill-defined evil scheme which never goes anywhere, though it does lead to a fight between Saravanan and her personal servant Oomaiyan (a shirtless Sonu Sood.)  Even the computer generated snake gets a lot of buildup but never interacts with any human characters and then just leaves.  

But ultimately it all comes down to the cast.  Rajnikanth displays his usual swaggering charm, but Jyothika steals the entire movie, effortlessly switching between charming as Ganga and chewing all the scenery as Chandramukhi, within the same scene and sometimes within the same line.  Most of Rajnikanth's movies in this era were named after the character he played.  Chandramukhi is an exception, and Jyothika earns it.

Saaptember: Naga Kanya

 Naga Kanya (2019) is also known as Neeya 2, and in theory it's a sequel to 1979's Neeya, which was itself the Tamil remake of Nagin, the 1976 superhit which started the snake movie trend in the first place.  It's really a sequel in name only, but it does represent a return to snake movie basics, featuring an angry snake woman tearing through everyone who stands in her way, and trading magic stones and snake lasers for a sizable body count.  

On the other hand, Naga Kanya has its own snake lore, explaining the new rules in an animated opening sequence.  In this movie, being a shapechanging snake is a curse, and the snakes are human by day, snake by night.  Snake couples still perform special dances on auspicious full moon nights, but it's not just about serpentine canoodling, it's about recovering a sacred chain to become fully human.

Once the rules are explained, we cut to Divya (Catherine Tresa).  Divya has a problem: she loves Sarva (Jai), but he just doesn't seem to like her, no matter what she tries.  Publicly confessing her love didn't work.  Introducing herself to everyone they meet as his girlfriend didn't work.  Threatening to burn hi face with acid didn't work.  It seems hopeless, so she tries asking strangers for advice in a Facebook livestream.  This does at least get Sarva's attention; he tries to explain what a bad idea that is, and further explains that he avoids romance due to a "naga dosham," an unfortunate conjunction of stars in his horoscope which has already claimed the life of one would be fiance.  He can't marry anyone unless they also have a naga dosham, but Divya cheerfully explains that she does indeed have a naga dosham in her horoscope.  That's good enough for Sarva, so he obligingly falls in love and they become engaged.

Meanwhile a mysterious woman named Malar (Raai Laxmi) is wandering the streets looking for a man named Vikram.  A couple of shifty looking men claim to know him, and Malar follows them to an abandoned building, but it's a trap.  She's surrounded by thugs threatening to assault her, and when they don't listen to her pleading, she turns into a giant cobra and kills them all one by one.  (Turns out snakes can change shape during the day if they're angry enough.)  She asks a sage for help locating Vikram, and he has a vision, revealing that Vikram is Sarva, and he's just married Divya.

On the wedding night, Divya has a terrible dream about a giant snake.  She confesses that-she doesn't have a naga dosham at all, and faked her horoscope to be able to marry Sarva.  He's already invested, so he forgives her and consults with his family astrologer, who tells them that there's a priest living nearby who can remove the curse, but until then they must remain celibate.

They do as the astrologer advises, but the ritual will take some time to prepare, so they get a room at a nearby hotel called Le Poshe, which is not quite as classy as the name implies.  Malar is also staying at Le Poshe, after killing her sage friend in a fit of anger.  She tries to make contact with Sarva, but he doesn't remember her.  She tries turning into Divya to seduce him, but he's taking the astrologer's advice seriously, so that doesn't work either.  The situation calls for a flashback.

So the movie cuts to Malar's past life as a college student named Pallavi, who is in love with Vikram, Sarva's last incarnation.  Pallavi's father is a powerful man with an army of goons, and since Vikram is of the wrong caste for his daughter, he's decided to kill the young man.  (If I were a crime lord and my daughter's boyfriend came to my house and beat up my entire supply of goons, I think I would view this as a recruitment opportunity and welcome him into the family, but that's just me.)

Pallavi and Vikram elope.  On the way they stumble across a small shrine, with a chain hanging from the statue, so Vikram picks it up and gives it to Pallavi as a mangalsutra.  Unfortunately, the chain belonmged to a pair of snakes, Devi and Devan (Varalaxmi Sarathkumar and Manas, respectively), who were using it to break their curse.  Devan tries to recover the chain, but Vikram assumes he's one of his father-in-law's goons,and a fight breaks out.  In the struggle Pallavi accidentally kills Devan, leading a  furious Devi to spit poison in Vikram's face, killing him.  She curses Pallavi to be reborn as a snake tormented by memories of Vikram, then kills her too.

Back in the present, Malar bumps into Sarva while visiting the shrine, and convinces him to take a tour of the area while she tells him about his past life.  Meanwhile Divya has realized that something is up, and she goes to seek divine aid.

Naga Kanya is as bonkers as it sounds, and sometimes it is bonkers in a way that I like.  The final confrontation is a clash of snake themed Indian movie monsters, as Divya temporarily transforms herself into a vishkanya by drinking a large jug of venom, and the day is saved by literal divine intervention in the form of a squirrel.

However, the movie never quite manages to come together in a satisfying way.  It's never anything more than the sum of its parts, and some of those parts are not great, particularly the hotel employees who conspire to drug and sexually assault Malar.  They fail, because shapechanging snake woman, but for some inexplicable reason the whole sequence is treated as comic relief.  It makes for a curate's egg of a movie: good in parts, but rotten in others.

 

Saaptember: Prem Shakti

The shapeshifting snakes of Bollywood are surprisingly versatile.  They can be vengeful killers, doomed lovers, mystical guardians, or, as in Prem Shakti (1994), fairy godparents.

The film doesn't start with the snake, though, it starts with Gangwa (Govinda) and Gauri (Karisma Kapoor), literal star-crossed lovers.  The families aren't feuding or anything, and Gauri's father actually likes Gangwa, but he is an astrologer and their star charts say that they cannot be together in this lifetime.  In fact, even trying to be together will lead to disaster.  He sends his daughter to stay with her uncle during the upcoming full moon, a time which will be particularly dangerous for her.  

Naturally, Gangwa comes to rescue her.  They flee into the night, and discover a secret and spooky cavern underneath the village well.  Entering the cavern, they stumble into a snake movie already in progress, as a wicked sage (Puneet Issar) tries to force Nagraj (Nitish Bharadwaj) to give up his Naag Mani as part of an overly complicated bid for immortality.  Gangwa intervenes, causing the sage to miss the chance for immortality for another twenty five years, and the angry sage curses them, turning Gauri into stone and killing Gangwa.  Nagraj vows to protect the petrified maiden, and time passes.

Twenty five years later, Gauri is . . . well, she's a statue, so she hasn't moved.  Gangwa has been reincarnated as Krishna, adopted son of an idol maker (Sulabha Deshpande).  Krishna is an artist, haunted by the half-remembered image of a beautiful woman he's only ever seen in his dreams, and tormented by his failure to recreate her image.  Encouraged by his mother and his childhood friend/half-hearted love interest Pinky (Neela) he stops dreaming long enough to get a job making mannequins.  his first assignment is to make a male figure, but working late into the night Krishna falls asleep, and Nagraj appears and transfers Gauri's spirit into the new mannequin, transforming it into a perfect likeness of her.

Krishna is fired, naturally.  He tries to buy the mannequin form his former boss, but before he can borrow the money it's sold to someone else.  Krishna wanders the streets on a rainy night only to see his creation in a department store window.  he's chased off by the security guard (Shakti Kapoor) but the next day he saves the life of the store owner and is given a job working with the flamboyant window dresser Romeo (Kader Khan).  That night, when Krishna is alone with the mannequin, she comes to life, introducing herself as a miracle, as "Krishna's Karishma."

And nothing's gonna stop them now, because from this point on the movie is a pretty straight adaptation of the Kim Catrall movie Mannequin, interspersed with scenes of the evil sage trying to kill Krishna again and Nagraj protecting the young lovers from the shadows.  Krishna and Karishma frolic through the store after hours every night, and her creative outfits are a huge hit, reviving the store's fortunes and foiling a takeover attempt by the owner's wicked uncle.  People start to notice that Krishna has an unhealthy fixation on a mannequin, but Romeo isn't particularly worried.

And then things go a bit off the rails.  Krishna tries to introduce his mother to Karishma, but she doesn't answer because she is a mannequin.  He's furious, and vows to quit the store and never speak to her again.  Karishma is heartbroken, but Nagraj assures her that they can make it if they're heart to heart.  Before that happens, though, they'll have to deal with corporate espionage, mannequin-napping, evil magic, entirely too many comic relief characters, and an abrupt ending that doesn't explain a thing.

Despite the bonkers premise, Prem Shakti may just make more sense than Mannequin does; having a clear cosmology helps.  That doesn't mean it makes very much sense, though.  There's a lot to nitpick here, starting with the fact that the evil sage could have won if he'd focused on finding Nagraj rather than taking his revenge on the young couple he already took his revenge on twenty five years ago. 

Prem Shakti is nonsense, but it doesn't pretend to be anything else, and it is at least reasonably entertaining nonsense.  Govinda and Karisma can dance, the plot moves along briskly, and the costumes really have to be seen to be believed.