Bhooty Call: Pyaasa Haiwan

 The Ramsay family is not responsible for Pyaasa Haiwan (2003); the movie was made by Bollywood exploitation merchant Kanti Shah.  However,  it looks like it's attempting to be a Ramsay picture, borrowing a traditional Ramsay plot (a wealthy family and their creepy mansion are haunted by a demonic creature out for revenge, while scheming relatives plot a murder) and the traditional Ramsay formula (low budget and a bit of exploitation).  Clearly, Shah had less of a budget than the Ramsays, so he filled in the gaps with more exploitation, then dropped anything resembling comic relief so he could fit in even more exploitation.

The movie is not shy about the monster.  There's a cold open with a middle aged man and his young girlfriend sneaking into the abandoned mansion for a romantic rendezvous only to fall afoul of the monster, so we get a good look at the critter almost immediately, and it is . . . unimpressive. The monster is a guy wearing most of a gorilla costume but without the headpiece - it's one diving helmet away from being Ro-Man from Robot Monster.  (It's a cheaper gorilla suit, as well, though to be fair they did give the creature furry sideburns and plastic Dracula fangs, so they've made some effort.)

After the cold open we cut to former servant and current mystic Shakaal (no idea who played him; the IMDB is not exactly helpful with this movie) tells the house's new owners about what happened to the old owners.  Ajit (Vinod Tripathi) is the spoiled son of Ranjit Singh.  Ranjit goes to the big city to arrange for Ajit's marriage, so Ajit has the house to himself.  He spends entirely too much screentime watching porn, then calls over his girlfriend for a bit of canoodling.  Unfortunately Ranjit comes home early and shoots the girlfriend, then banishes Ajit to the house of his responsible brother.  Ajit immediately hits on the maid, then spies on his sister-in-law bathing, so his brother shoots him.  Ajit comes back to life as a horrible monster, takes his revenge, and then sets to work being monstrous and attacking everyone who enters the house, killing the men and assaulting the women.

The new owner's daughter (who does not seem to have a name) does not believe in monsters, but once she hears the story she vows to destroy the creature.  She wanders around an unconvincing cemetery for a while (the tombstones are balsa wood crosses with names written on them in Sharpie), meets a stranger (Vinod Tripathi) who offers her shelter, and after the stranger lures her to his house and reveals himself as the monster, she reveals that she was hunting him all the time and stabs the monster with a convenient sword!

But it's not that easy.  The monster comes back to life, kills her, and vows to destroy her family, then does nothing about it.

Time passes, and we meet our nameless heroine's sister Kamini (Sapna Sappu).  Kamini is in love with Shankar (played by Kanti Shah himself) and her father does not approve, so she and Shankar run off to set up house in the mansion, with the help of creepy servant Shambu.  Her maternal uncle (also Vinod Tripathi) expects that she will die and he'll get his hands on the family fortune, so he sends his daughters Sonia and Anjali to kill Kamini just in case.  They bring their useless boyfriends, and everyone settles into the mansion.

It takes a while for things to actually happen, but eventually Anjali's doughy middle aged boyfriend Rahul is killed, and the local police inspector (Vinod Tripathi once again; you might think he's secretly the monster in a  clever disguise, but nope) insists that they're all suspects and all have to stay in the house so they can be slowly picked off one by one.  And then the wheels start to spin.  The ladies go swimming.  Sonia schemes.  Shankar and Kamini have a love scene which drags on and on and on.  And poor Anjali is exploited by one man after another, all of whom promise to protect her though no one ever does.  

Eventually the monster starts killing people one by one, until all that is left is Kamini and Shekhar, and Shekhar is particularly useless.  (He's a man without a trace of feck or gorm.)  The unkillable monster chases Kamini into a cemetery and then falls on a cross and dies, the end.

I want to be clear - this is a really bad movie.  It's not just that it's cheap, though it is cheap; the monster is what the monster is, and there are three or possibly four mansions all with identical layout and furnishings.  This is lazy.  The plot doesn't really hang together, and there are clearly scenes missing.  The movie is padded with scantily clad women being pawed at by men or writhing on a bed, and the same stock footage of lightning flashes onscreen every few sentences.  And the actors speak most of their lines directly to the camera.

The men are useless.  The women are targets; monster rape is one of my least favorite horror movie tropes, and this movie leans heavily on it.  Kamini's sister is great, and if you have to watch this movie for some reason (maybe you lost a bet?) it's best to stop right after she kills the monster for the first time.