It's been a long road.

 Dunki (2023) is Bollywood megastar Shah Rukh Khan's third starring role after his recent Zero-driven hiatus.  There's a difference, though; both Jawan and Pathaan featured Action Shah Rukh, but Dunki has to do without beautifully choreographed violence, cool gadgets, or Deepika Padukone in a bikini.  Instead, the movie relies on Shah Rukh's affable charm, a strong supporting cast, and a clearly stated thesis.

The movie opens with Manu (Taapsee Pannu), a woman of a certain age, escaping from a London hospital.  She's determined to return to her home village in Punjab, but she can't get an Indian visa, so her lawyer Puru Patel (Deven Bhojani) puts her in touch with the one man who can help, her old flame Hardayal "Hardy" Singh Dillon (Shash Rukh Khan).  Hardy is thrilled to talk to her again, but when she asks him to meet her in Dubai, he says that he won't.  Manu knows better, and she gathers her friends Buggu (Vikram Kochhar) and Balli (Anil Grover) to join her on the trip.

And the film flashes back twenty five years.  Manu is desperate to get to England, hoping to earn enough money to pay off her father's debt and buy back the family home.  And she's not the only one; Buggu and Balli both want to earn enough money to support their respective mothers and escape the dead end jobs they're trapped in.  They've tried various shady visa brokers and been cheated every time, but there's always hope.  Manu is actually looking for a wrestling coach for the latest immigration scheme when she meets former soldier Hardy, who traveled for miles to return a tape player to her late brother, the soldier who saved his life.

Hardy is moved by her story, and agrees to train her as a way to repay his debt to her brother.  When the latest immigration broker vanishes, Hardy gets them all enrolled in an English class run by Geetu (Boman Irani), hoping to earn a student visa. In class they meet meet Sukhi (Vicky Kaushal) who wants to get a visa as quickly as possible in order to rescue the woman he loves from an abusive marriage.  This means that the core cast includes a group of five friends, but one of them is in a wildly different genre than the others.  This will not be the only example of an uneven tone.

Balli passes the test, but everyone else fails.  Balli promises to look up Sukhi's love Jassi as soon as he reaches England.  He keeps his promise, but it's already too late; Jassi has taken her own life.  Sukhi is heartbroken, and immolates himself.  At the funeral, Hardy vows to get his friends to England, no matter what.  Rather than wait for a visa that may never come, they'll take the "dunki" route, hopping from country to country until they are smuggled onto British soil.

Up until now, the film has veered between charming comedy and Sukhi's tragedy; now it becomes a full-fledged drama.  The trip to England is brutal.  People die, including characters who were introduced earlier as comic relief.  As a former soldier, Hardy has to use violence to protect his friends along the way, but the violence isn't cool, it's brutal and unpleasant and leaves everyone involved shaken.  And yet there are some flickers of hope; Hardy manages to confess his feelings for Manu, and she loves him as well, though they want to stay focused on the journey until they reach their destination.

And then England, which is its own kind of brutal.  Balli hasn't been as successful as he lead the others to believe, and life as an undocumented immigrant is hard.  hardy finally manages to contact Puru Patel, who offers a few possible routes to legal status.  Trying to get Manu married to a British citizen is a disaster, though, so the only option left is to seek asylum, claiming that they will be persecuted by the Indian government if they try to return home. Hardy is a patriot, and he absolutely will not lie about his country, but he can afford to have convictions, since he's only in England for Manu.  The others have families to provide for, and they all claim asylum while Hardy is deported.

And then the flashback is over, we're back in the present, and the movie is a comedy again, with Hardy scheming to smuggle his friends back into an India which doesn't want them because of their asylum claim.  Mostly a comedy, that is, because Manu was in that hospital for a reason, and that's what's driving her to get back to Punjab before it's too late.

This is obviously a deeply political movie; it pretty much has to be, given the topic.   The film is very much on the side of the little people seeking an opportunity to provide for their families, and has a lot to say about a system which is designed to keep poor people out, and the brokers who take advantage of the desperate.  Shah Rukh gets a good speech, angry in the Terry Pratchett sense.

The tone here is wildly uneven, but that is not that uncommon in Bollywood, and writer/director Rajkumar Hirani's earlier films, such as the Munna Bhai franchise and 3 Idiots, also mix moments of joy with unexpected tragedy.  The cast makes it work, especially Khan.  This is an unusually disciplined performance for him, and there are no winking references to Khan's earlier films to remind the viewer that they're watching a big star.  Like Hardy, Shah Rukh stays focused on the moment until he reaches his destination.

Tiger 3: The One Without a Cool Title

 Pathaan established the Spy Universe as a genuine cinematic universe, weaving elements from the Tiger series and War into a more or less cohesive whole.  Tiger 3 (2023) has a different job - it needs to establish a direction for the new cinematic universe and find an easy way to distinguish the series' three renegade agent protagonists, all while telling an entertaining story and staying true to what people liked about the Tiger movies in the first place.

The movie opens . . . well, it opens with an extended and plot-relevant flashback, but I'll get to that later.  Then it cuts to a Bond style cold open action scene, as Tiger (Salman Khan) rescues his former handler and best pal Gopi (Ranvir Shorey) from the Taliban.  Tiger and Gopi have a complicated relationship; Gopi was last seen in the first Tiger move, Ek Tha Tiger, when he shot Tiger in an attempt to keep him from escaping with Pakistani agent Zoya (Katrina Kaif).  But Tiger isn't one to hold a grudge, and he rescues his old friend.  Gopi is wounded in the process, and before dying he warns Tiger that there's a mission being planned in Pakistan and that there's a mole helping the enemy: Zoya.

Tiger returns to his home in Austria and is reunited with Zoya.  Fortunately the "can Zoya be trusted" plotline doesn't last too long.  They've been married for years, and the question has come up in every movie so far.  The answer is always the same - yes, she can be trusted, as established by a quick musical number.

Tiger is satisfied and sets out on his next mission, traveling to St. Petersburg to extract one of Gopi's informants.  Naturally, there's an attempt on the informant's life, and the mysterious assassin removes their motorcycle helmet to reveal - Zoya!  She is the mole after all!  They fight, and it's close, but Tiger gets the upper hand, then is knocked out by a mysterious assailant.

Tiger wakes up bound to a chair, watching a projection of Zoya and Aatish Rehman (Emraan Hashmi), Zoya's former mentor in the ISI as established by the opening flashback.  Rehman has poisoned Tiger and Zoya's son Junior (Sartaaj Kakkar) in order to force Zoya to work for him.  He explains his very personal grudge against Tiger (it's complicated spy stuff, but Tiger had to shoot Rehman's pregnant wife Shaheen (Riddhi Dogra) while protecting a peace conference.)  He offers Tiger the same choice he offered Zoya - perform a mission for him and Junior gets the antidote, but otherwise the boy dies.  And Tiger immediately escapes, because when forced to choose between love and duty, Tiger will pick love every single time.

The couple are assigned to retrieve a briefcase from a locked vault in Istanbul, and suddenly the film switches to a heist movie.  Tiger recruits his old friend and tech expert Rakesh (Kumud Mishra) along with a pair of starstruck RAW agents, Zoya has a martial arts fight with a Chinese general (Michelle Lee) while dressed in a towel, the item is retrieved, and Tiger is captured and sent to Pakistan for trial.  This is bad, because the briefcase contains Pakistan's nuclear launch codes.  Suddenly Tiger and Zoya are the most dangerous terrorists in the world, disavowed by their hoke countries, and Tiger is sentenced to death.

Fortunately for Tiger, he's part of a cinematic universe now.  He's rescued by Pathaan (Shah Rukh Khan) and after a great deal of banter, even more shooting and an exploded bridge Pathaan flies out of the movie and Tiger goes underground in Islamabad, staying with his adopted son Hassan (Vishal Jethwa),  last seen in Tiger Zinda Hai.  

Of course Tiger's not done.  He and Zoya have to get the band back together, gathering supporting characters form the previous movies in order to foil Rehman, save Pakistan and clear their own names, pretty much in that order, and they have to do it by assaulting the Prime Minister's office.

Every installment in the Spy Universe has ramped up the level of action, and this movie finds a new top to go over, especially after Pathaan shows up.  Still, there's no shakey-cam, and the fights are kinetic and move at a good pace.  If you want to see a movie about Salman Khan punching absolutely everybody, Tiger 3 has you covered.

The movie also continues with the Spy Universe's running theme of the importance of human connection.  Rehman has lost his connection and fallen from grace, while Tiger and Zoya succeed because they have each other and genuine friends.  

And then there's the MCU style mid-credits scene, in which Kabir (Hrithik Roshan), the protagonist form War, is assigned to assassinate a mysterious enemy, setting up a Spy Universe Thanos and laying out the differences between the spies, boyband style: Tiger is the cool tough guy, Pathaan is the smart and funny one, and Kabir (who was the antagonist for half of his own movie) is the edgy bad boy loner.  It works.

Though I have to ask - when does Zoya get her name in the title?  She's been the co-protagonist for all of the Tiger movies, and Tiger's single-minded devotion to his wife is the most interesting thing about him.  It's past time Zoya got the credit she's due.

Archie Month: Kuch Kuch Hota Hai revisited.

 Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (1998) opens with a death, which is an unusual choice for a romantic movie.  Tina (Rani Mukherji) succumbs to a fatal case of Bollywood Mystery Disease shortly after giving birth, leaving behind her grieving husband Rahul (Shah Rukh Khan), her newborn daughter Anjali, and a stack of eight letters, one for each of Anjali's first eight birthdays.  (And you may be wondering what a one year old is going to do with a letter, but I can assure you, this plot is going to get weirder.)

Eight years pass.  Rahul is a successful businessman, living with his mother (Farida Jalal) and Anjali (Sana Saeed) who is spunky, TV obsessed, and devoted to her dad.  They're mostly happy, but something is definitely missing, and Anjali feels her mother's absence keenly.  Still, it's her birthday, and she has one more letter to look forward to.  She opens it and discovers an extended flashback!

Tina writes about Rahul's college days at St. Xaviers, the Bollywoodest of Bollywood colleges, complete with quirky teachers, a cheer-leading squad, and intercollegiate music competitions complete with hand painted signs.  Young Rahul is . . . kind of a jerk, honestly.  He's a smug aspiring ladies man who wears a chain with the word "Cool" on it.  However, he has a best friend, tomboy Anjali Sharma (Kajol), and she keeps him somewhat grounded.  (Cut to Little Anjali looking surprised at the namesake she's never heard of.)

Rahul and Anjali are very close, though they fight a lot, especially after Anjali inevitably beats Rahul at basketball.  The other students at the college are weirdly invested in their friendship, though, and will perform a spontaneous musical number in order to get them to make up.  And then Tina appears.  Tina Malhotra, that is, Oxford educated and drop dead gorgeous daughter of the college principal (Anupam Kher), who has transferred to St. Xaviers as a favor to her father.

Rahul is immediately captivated by Tina, and tries being an enormous jackass in order to win her heart.  When that completely fails, he tries a different tack, announcing to a classroom that "Love is Friendship," that friendship is absolutely necessary for any romantic relationship to work.  That gets Tina's attention,and when he asks her to be his friend she says yes.  Unfortunately, his declaration also gets Anjali's attention, and she starts wondering if her feelings for Rahul aren't so platonic after all.  The Archie romantic triangle is in place.

Unfortunately for Anjali, it isn't much of a contest.  She's an awkward tomboy with no experience in matters of the heart, and her attempts to dress up and look pretty like Tina lead to humiliating failure.  Tina, on the other hand, is glamorous, worldly, and has a keen emotional intelligence that Rahul and Anjali both lack.  Tina suspects that there's more to Rahul and Anjali's relationship than just friendship, and she tries to talk to Anjali about it before seriously pursuing a relationship.  Even after Anjali's vague denials, she still feels that she's an interloper, but Rahul has no such doubts, and confesses his love.  Anjali is heartbroken, and after an emotional farewell to Rahul and Tina she leaves college and they never see her again.

Tina ends her story by saying that she knows Rahul is lonely now, and that she still feels terrible about coming between them, so she charges Little Anjali to find Big Anjali and finally reunite her with Rahul, which seems like a lot of pressure to put on an eight year old; she immediately recruits her grandparents to help, but it might have been better for Tina to ask her father in the first place rather than waiting eight years for her daughter to develop sufficient reading comprehension.  

Big Anjali, meanwhile, is older, more confident, and wears saris rather than gym gear.  She's engaged to Aman (Salman Khan), a businessman who is handsome, charming, sort of annoying, and utterly besotted with her.  Her mother (Reema Lagoo) has doubts; she knows that Anjali never got over Rahul, and that she isn't really in love with Aman, but Anjali is determined to go through with the wedding.  Thanks to literal divine intervention the actual marriage is delayed until December, so she goes to work at a summer camp in Shimla, run by the cheerful but buffoonish and Britain-obsessed Colonel Almeida (Johny Lever.)

Little Anjali learns about the summer camp by calling her namesake and listening silently until she hears something useful.  She and her grandmother enroll in the camp, the Anjalis meet and bond, and then the older Anjali discovers just who her new student is, and what happened to her friend Tina.  Then Little Anjali activates Phase II of her plan, calling her father and pretending to be sick so that he'll rush to the camp.  He rushes to the camp, sees both Anjalis together, and completely fumbles the reunion.  Little Anjali and her co-conspirators do their best to push the two together, old feelings resurface, new feelings start to boil over, and the pair are just about to confess their mutual love when Aman returns.

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was writer/director Karan Johar's first movie, and the first step in his examination of increasingly transgressive love stories.  However, Rahul and Anjali are really not that transgressive; he's a widower and she's engaged to another man, but widowed men remarry all the time in Bollywood, and even Aman knows that she's just not that into him.  It's not like there's family pressure forcing Anjali to keep the engagement, either, since her mother clearly has doubts about the whole situation.  Everything could be resolved happily with five minutes of honest conversation, but instead Rahul and Anjali suffer in silence up to the very last minute, inspiring the people around them to make what Pretentious Movie Reviews calls the "Wow, Such Values Face", marveling at their stoic but pointless sacrifice.

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai has been reexamined in recent years, and as a member of the Pretty In Pink generation I think that's healthy.  I don't agree with all of the criticism I've seen, but Rahul is kind of toxic at times, especially in his younger days, and the movie does stick to a very conservative idea of family structure, with Little Anjali needing a mother being one of the driving elements of the plot.  Rather than argue fine points, though, I will tell you why I think that Kuch Kuch Hota Hai is good, actually.

It goes back to Archie comics, which Karan Johar has said were a specific inspiration for the film.  For the Betty-Archie-Veronica triangle to really work, both of the potential love interests have to be viable choices; Pride and Prejudice doesn't fit the Archie model, for instance, because Darcy is good but stuffy while Wickham is charming but actually a monster.  More than that, like Betty and Veronica, Anjali and Tina are genuine friends, with a relationship that extends beyond Rahul.  When Anjali discovers the truth about Little Anjali, her first reaction is to take a moment to mourn her friend.

The plot is, of course, absolute nonsense, with a constellation of plot holes shining through the script.  But like many films of this era, the plot is just a vehicle for delivering emotions, and emotions abound.  Even at this early stage of his career, Karan Johar has a real knack for writing characters, and the actors chosen to play those characters are fantastic.  Kajol is the real standout here, conveying volumes of meaning just through facial expression; you can literally highlight the exact second when her heart breaks, in the middle of a joyous dance number, without a word being spoken.

The movie is a mess, but it's a wonderful mess.  Just don't take it as a guide to healthy relationships.

Shah Rukh and Son. (The son is also Shah Rukh.)

 Shah Rukh Khan's comeback tour continues with Jawan (2023), which is reminiscent of some of Kahn's older movies while still being very much its own thing.  Critics have mentioned thematic similarities to Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani, Chak De! India, Swades, and Chennai Express, but it really feels like writer-director Atlee looked at the over the top political metaphor of Oh Darling! Yeh Hai India! and decided that metaphor is for cowards.

The plot of Jawan is fairly straightforward, but it's one of those movies in which the backstory is slowly filled in through a series of nested flashbacks.  The film opens in 1986, with a mysterious bandaged  amnesiac (Shah Rukh Khan) saving a remote village from an attacking force of Chinese soldiers.  Then the movie jumps to the present, with a subway train taken hostage by a small band of highly trained women, each with their own special skillset: Lakshmi (Priyamani), Doctor Eeram (Sanya Malhotra),  Helena (Sanjeeta Bhattacharya), Ishkra (Girija Oak), Kalki (Lehar Khan), and Jahnvi (Aaliyah Qureisha).  The women answer to a mysterious bandaged mastermind (Shah Rukh Khan), who demands a hostage negotiator that's interesting to talk to.

The authorities select Narmada (Nayanthara), head of the counter-terrorist unit Force One.  The bandaged man plays the villain for a while, then reveals his demands - four hundred million rupees, enough to pay off the loans of seven hundred thousand farmers.  As it happens, Alia (Ashlesha Thakur), daughter of legitimate businessman/arms dealer Kalee (Vijay Sethupathi), is on the train, and he agrees to pay the ransom.  This is not a coincidence.

When the train arrives at the station, Narmada has her men waiting to arrest the hijackers, but by this point the bandaged man has won over the hostages by explaining the predatory nature of loans to farmers and the resulting high rate of suicide among them, and because he only pretended to kill a hostage to show how serious he was.  With the help of the hostages and a fair amount of hugely unlikely technological trickery, the hijackers escape, but before they go the leader asks Alia to tell her father his name: Vikram Rathore.

He is not actually Vikram Rathore. He's Azad, warden of a women's prison that focuses on rehabilitation and restorative justice rather than punishment.  His six accomplices are all inmates at the prison who have all suffered various forms of social injustice, and Azad's plan is to expose government corruption, help the common man, and, as later flashbacks reveal, clear the name of his father, Vikram Rathore, who was branded a traitor and apparently murdered after exposing defective weapons that Kalee's company sold to the military.

Meanwhile, Azad's foster mother Kaveri (Riddhi Dogra) is looking for a bride for him.  The latest candidate was too busy to meet with him, and rather than send her parents she sent her ten year old daughter Suji (Seeza Saroj Mehta), who is in the market for a father.  Azad and Suji get along well, and when her mother turns out to be Narmada, they get along as well.  The match is made.

Azad wants to tell her the truth, but before he can bring himself to do it, on their wedding night, she discovers that he's the criminal she's been chasing.  Before she can arrest him, though, the honeymoon cabin is attacked by armed men led by Kalee's brother Manish (Eijaz Khan), who thinks they're working together.  He shoots Narmada and is about to kill Azad when Vikram Rathore appears.  He's not dead after all, but he still has amnesia.  On the other hand, he is a decent fellow and a trained soldier, so he's happy to rescue his son even though he feels no emotional connection.  It does not go well for Manish.

Kalee was in Russia attending an International Conference of Evil Businessmen, which is the kind of thing that happened a lot in Nineties Bollywood action movies.  He's hoping to raise enough money to buy himself into political office, and then open up India as a haven for evil businessmen to build massive polluting factories without having to worry about environmental regulations or basic safety.  (This is not a subtle movie.)  A mobster with a Darth Vader breath mask offers to put up the money, threatening dire consequences if he is not paid back on time.  But before Kalee can put his plans into action, he needs to take revenge on his old enemy Vikram for Manish's death.

So Kalee wants revenge and power, in that order.  Vikram, Azad, and the ladies want to steal Kalee's money, to end his power and make India a better place for the common people.  Narmada, who is also not dead, wants to arrest her wayward husband, though there's a good chance that she can be won over by the right bit of exposition.  The plot may be complicated, but the sides are clear, and there's room for key cameos from Sanjay Dutt and Deepika Padukone.

When an actor is playing a  dual role, it's important that the characters are distinctive enough to be easily distinguishable.  Azad is a fairly typical SRK protagonist, prone to big displays of emotion, impassioned and inspiring speeches, and dancing with his arms extended.  Vikram, as an older amnesiac, is quirky and largely detached from what's going on around him.  He's just happy to help, especially if helping involves spontaneous displays of violence.  

 The characters are also distinguished in the action scenes; Azad is an over the top Bollywood action hero, skilled and blessed with a great deal of luck, especially evil henchmen who keep forgetting that they have guns and attacking one at a time.  Vikram is more like an over the top South Indian action hero, operating on an entirely different level.  He's capable of the kind of stunts you see in Bahubali or RRR.

As huge and improbable as the actions scenes are, though, it's the plot that really stretches suspension of disbelief, particularly the notion that Azad and his friends can achieve lasting political change through their Robin Hood antics; at one point they overhaul India's entire medical system in the space of five hours.  It's a movie with its heart in the right place, especially Azad's final speech, in which he pleads with the public to use the power of their vote carefully, asking those seeking office what they will do to help the country and the common people instead of being distracted by fear or labels.  And that could lead to social change, but acts of heroic crime probably won't.

Shah Rukh Week: Swades

Like many of Shah Rukh Khan's earlier films, Swades (2004) casts him as an NRI, a Non-Resident Indian, who returns to India for love and winds up transformed, both by the country and the aforementioned love.  It's a common trope in Indian cinema, practically a cliche, but in the right hands a cliched plot can still turn into something magical.

NASA engineer Mohan Barghava (Shah Rukh Khan) has a great job, a big house, good friends, and one regret: he's lost touch with Kaveri Amma (Kishori Ballal), his former nanny whom he thinks of as a second mother.  Mohan was studying in America when his parents died, and he wasn't in a position to take care of her.  They sent letters, but eventually the letters slowed and then stopped, and the last thing Mohan heard was that she had gone to live in a retirement home.

The good news is that his current project, a satellite designed to monitor global precipitation levels, has finished Phase 1, and his friend Vinod (Rahul Vorha) suggests he takes a couple of weeks off to find Kaveri and convince her to come to America.  Mohan travels to Delhi, visits the retirement home, and discovers that Kaveri has gone to a village in Uttar Pradesh called Charanpur.  

Mohan borrows an RV and sets off for the village.  After a travel montage and the help of a wandering holy man (Makrand Deshpande) he arrives at the village and has a tearful reunion with Kaveri.  She is staying with Gita (Gayatri Joshi), local school teacher and Mohan's childhood friend, and Gita's young brother Chiku (Smith Seth.)  The three have formed a happy family unit, and that is a problem for Mohan, because he still plans to bring his surrogate mother home with him, but it's clear that Gita is never going to give her up.

Kaveri is definitely not going to leave until Gita is settled in life, and she has two problems: it's next to impossible to arrange a marriage for her when she's not willing to give up her job after getting married, and the school is in danger of losing its building if she can't increase the number of students enrolled.  Mohan leaves Kaveri to handle the marriage side of things, and he goes around the village trying to convince parents to send their children to school.  And suddenly things start to get complicated.  the parents all have different reasons; some think their children are better off just learning the family trade, some feel they can't afford it or worry that their children won't fit in because of caste differences, and some just don't feel it's worthwhile educating girls when they should be learning how to run a household.  Mohan listens, and pleads his case, and he has some success.

There's a thread running through a lot of older Shah Rukh movies where his character winds up staying with the extended family of his love interest, usually under false pretenses, and he winds up making everybody's lives better, almost by accident.  That's sort of what happens here, but with the village taking the place of Amrish Puri and the assorted aunts and uncles.  Mohan does increase enrollment, and he at least challenges caste barriers during a wonderful and surprisingly low key dance number, but at the same time he's putting down roots, making friends, and starting to see the struggles of the people around him.

After meeting a destitute farmer in a neighboring village, Mohan decides that he needs to do something tangible to help the people before he leaves.  The electricity supply in the village is unreliable, with frequent blackouts, and the government is always promising that the problem will be fixed in a month or so but it never is.  However, there's water flowing from the mountain nearby, so Mohan decides to build a small hydroelectric plant.

Meanwhile, he's been growing closer and closer to Gita, and she finally, quietly, admits that she loves him.  The early bickering is fun, but the relationship that develops is simple and sweet, based on mutual respect and support.  It's also pretty much doomed, because Gita will never leave India, and Mohan has to return to America.  Doesn't he?

The plot of Swades is not that far from typical masala fare; it's surprisingly close to Khan's 1996 film English Babu Desi Mem, for instance.  The tone is wildly different, though.  Swades is more grounded, rooted in simple village life.  The emotions are still huge, but the characters don't have an army of backup dancers to help express them.

Given the more grounded tone of the film you might think that Khan would deliver a more subdued and naturalistic performance, but he Shah Rukhs the heck out of this movie, with plenty of crying, standing with arms outstretched, all of his other tics.  And it works beautifully.  Without the glitz and glamor, Khan feels sincere, and this is a movie that thrives on sincerity.  Perhaps the most pivotal moment in Mohan's character development involves drinking a glass of water, and Khan sells it beautifully.

Swades is a polished jewel of a movie, with a simple story driven by strong performances and quiet moments, lifted up by A. R. Rahman's magnificent score.

And normally that is where I would end the review, but there is a coda, and it is bonkers.  In 2022's superhero epic Brahmastra: Part One, Khan appears as Mohan Bhargav, respected scientist and secret super hero who wields the power of the Vanastra.  Mohan used to work for NASA, and his Mumbai apartment is filled with space memorabilia.  He's clearly modeled on the Mohan from Swades, and writer-director Ayan Mukherji (who started his career as an assistant director for Swades) has confirmed that it's supposed to be the same character.

It makes a kind of sense, I guess?  Brahmastra is anything but low key, but both movies are ultimately about learning to love the people around you, and letting that love drive you to make the world a better place.  Still, I did not expect Swades to retroactively become a superhero origin story.

Spy Month: Pathaan

Pathaan (2023) is a movie with a lot to accomplish.  It needs to reboot the acting career of Shah Rukh Khan after the spectacular failure of Zero.  It needs to establish Yash Raj Films' Spy Universe as an actual cinematic universe, rather than a succession of mostly unrelated action movies that happen to involve spies.  And it needs to tell an entertaining story that stands on its own.  Making lots of money would also be nice.

Khan plays Pathaan,a farmer RAW agent with a complicated backstory.  The short version is that he was abandoned in front of a movie theater as a baby, raised in a series of government orphanages, joined RAW in order to repay his country, and was badly wounded on his first mission in Afghanistan while saving a  school full of children.  While recovering, he was basically adopted by the local Pashtun (also known as Pathan) villagers, who named him Pathaan.  (Nobody ever calls him anything but Pathaan, so there's no way to know what his name used to be.)

Pathaan is discharged because of his injuries, but he's not ready to quit just yet.  With the help of his mentor, Nandini Grewal (Dimple Kapadia), and the reluctant approval of Colonel Luthra (Ashutosh Rana, last seen in War) Pathaan founds JOCR, the Joint Operations and Covert Research department, which provides a way for other wounded and traumatized former RAW agents to continue to serve their country.

JOCR's first mission takes them to Dubai, to foil an attempted attack on India's president by "Outfit X," a mercenary terrorist organization headed by another former RAW agent named Jim (John Abraham.)  Jim might not have a very intimidating name, but he's charismatic, driven, and very smart; Luthra says that he's as good as Kabir, just to make it absolutely clear that this movie is taking place in the same universe as War.

Jim is also not actually after the President.  It's a feint, to get RAW to pull security away from two scientists whoa re attending the same Dubai conference. Pathaan figures it out, but despite a long fight scene, he's only able to save one of them and Jim gets away with the other.  

JOCR follows the money, and the trail leads to a Pakistani doctor named Rubai Mohsin (Deepika Padukone), who lives in London but is currently in Spain.  Pathaan follows, and after a musical number in which Padukone rotates through a plethora of bikinis, he falls right into the obvious trap.  Rubai is working for Jim!  Or is she?  After Jim leaves, she saves Pathaan and reveals that she's an undercover ISI agent, there to stop Jim from obtaining something called "Raktbeej."

Raktbeej is kept in a locked vault in Moscow.  Rathaan and Rubai make a plan to steal it before Jim can get his hands on it.  They succeed, and then Pathaan falls into the other obvious trap: Rubai was working for Jim after all!  She takes Raktbeej, and Pathaan is arrested and placed on a train transporting prisoners to, presumably, Siberia.  But he escapes thanks to the timely appearance of Tiger (Salman Khan), who is, and I cannot stress this enough, alive. 

And that's just the flashbacks.  In the present Pathaan reunites with Nandini and the rest of RAW to track down Jim and prevent a devastating attack on a major Indian city.  And hey, there's Rubai, offering to help.  We can trust her this time, right?

Pathaan stars Action Shah Rukh, rather than Goofy Romantic Comedy Shah Rukh or Emotional Family Drama Shah Rukh, but Pathaan (the character) is a relatively well-adjusted guy rather than a snarling ball of violence like Don.  The movie is a decent sampler of the Shah Rukh Khan Experience; Pathaan fights like an SRK character, getting beaten up until he manages to win the fight by refusing to stay down.  His scenes with Tiger show great comic chemistry, and his scenes with Rubina show a bit of his old bumbling charm, filtered through genre and maturity.

Pathaan also firmly establishes the Spy Universe as a thing.  It's not just the Tiger cameo and Luthra referencing characters and events form the other movies, the movies share a common subtext about the need for human connection; Tiger only lives for his work until he's transformed by meeting Zoya (and vice versa), in War Naina urges Kabir to find a connection because "every soldier needs someone to come home to," and it's the loss of connection that starts Jim down his dark path, while Pathaan forges connections everywhere he goes.  Paathan and Nandini talk a lot about the Japanese tradition of  Kintsugi, repairing broken porcelain with gold to produce something new and beautiful rather than pretending that the break didn't happen.  It's a remarkable philosophy for an action hero.

Which leaves one question.  Is Pathaan an entertaining story that stands on its own?  A newcomer isn't going to know who this Kabir guy Luthra keeps mentioning is, but otherwise it stands alone.  Entertaining?  Tastes vary.  The pacing's a little wonky, with fight scenes that last a long time, and the plotting gets sloppy, but it's a masala picture.  There are songs and fights and motorcycles driving across the ice for no good reason and a jetpack dogfight.  I'm not complaining.

I asked an AI to write a review of Anjaam. The results will shock you.

Write a blog post about the Bollywood movie Anjaam, starring Shah Rukh Khan



Anjaam, directed by Rahul Rawail, is a Bollywood movie that was released in 1994. The movie stars Shah Rukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit, and Deepak Tijori in lead roles. The film tells the story of a successful businessman, Vijay Agnihotri (played by Shah Rukh Khan), who is pursued by a vengeful woman, Shivani Chopra (played by Madhuri Dixit), after a chance encounter leads to a fatal accident.


The film begins with Vijay Agnihotri, a wealthy businessman who seems to have everything, including a beautiful wife, Priya (played by Tinnu Anand), and a loving mother. However, his life takes a turn for the worse when he accidentally kills a woman while driving under the influence of alcohol. The woman is Shivani Chopra's sister, and she vows to take revenge on Vijay for her sister's death.


Shivani's quest for revenge leads her to stalk and torment Vijay, and as the movie progresses, she becomes more and more unhinged. She resorts to kidnapping Vijay's mother, blackmailing him into marrying her, and even attempts to kill him.


Anjaam is a dark and intense movie that explores themes of obsession, revenge, and the consequences of one's actions. The film features some excellent performances from its lead actors, particularly Shah Rukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit, who bring a level of intensity and complexity to their characters.


The movie also features some memorable songs, including the popular number "Channe Ke Khet Mein," which features Shah Rukh Khan and Madhuri Dixit dancing in a colorful and vibrant setting.


Overall, Anjaam is a gripping and emotional movie that showcases the talent of its director and cast. It is a must-watch for anyone who enjoys intense dramas and powerful performances. If you are a fan of Shah Rukh Khan or Madhuri Dixit, this movie is a must-see.

I have only one question about this review:  did Vijay Agnihotri write this?  Because yes, he does run over and kill Shivani's sister (and daughter!), and yes, she does ultimately exact a brutal and almost Shakespearean revenge, but the AI kind of glosses over the fact that Vijay is an obsessive and violent stalker who has spent years ruining the life of the woman who dared reject him, a campaign which included murdering Shivani's husband before her eyes and sending her to prison for a crime which she did not commit and which did not in fact happen.

Anjaam is one of Shah Rukh's early, negative roles, forming a kind of Stalker Trilogy with Baazigar and Darr.  It's probably the least well regarded on the three, perhaps because the movie practically wallows in Shivani's misery, so that by the time she actually manages to take revenge, the viewer is just exhausted.

Vijay's pretty wife Priya seems to have been completely invented by the AI, and while Tinnu Anand is one of my favorite supporting actors, he would not have been my first choice to play a beautiful wife.

Chatbots lie, and they do so cheerfully and without remorse.  I am not surprised that the AI was this wrong about the movie, though I am a bit surprised and horrified that it was wrong in this particular way.  Anjaam is not an obscure movie, and the AI knew who the characters were, so I don't see why it reversed the victim and attacker so thoroughly. The clear lesson here is think carefully before allowing chatbots to write your movie reviews.

Also, think carefully before watching Anjaam.  It will not make you happy.

Jaanemonth - Veer-Zaara

 It's common in Indian cinema for the titles of historical romances to be the names of the lead characters, without any pesky ampersands.  Examples include Bajirao Mastani, Jodhaa Akbar, and of course Veer-Zaara (2004), a movie set in the glamorous and distant past of 1982.

Prisoner 786 (Shah Rukh Khan) is an Indian man who has been confined to a prison in Pakistan for the last twenty two years.  Officially, his name is Rajesh Rathore, and shortly after being arrested, he signed a full confession and hasn't spoken a single word since.  Getting Prisoner 786 his freedom is the first case for newly minted lawyer Saamiya Siddiqui (Rani Mukherjee), and it already looks hopeless.  However, Saamiya does have one advantage: she knows that Prisoner 786 is really named Veer Pratap Singh.

After hearing his own name spoken after so long, Veer starts to speak.  First he talks about planes, and  his days as a rescue pilot for the Indian Air Force.  But Saamiya wants to hear the story of how Veer wound up in prison, and to tell that story, he has to start with Zaara.

Zaara Haayat Khan (Preity Zinta) is the daughter of the wealthy and respected Jehangir Haayat Khan (Boman Irani.)  She is young and carefree and convinced that nothing will ever change her, and she sings a song to that effect.  And then things start to change.  Her beloved governess Zahida (Zohra Sehgal) dies, and her last request is that Zaara take her ashes to Punjab and immerse them in the Sutlej River.  Zaara can't refuse, and she sneaks off to India, leaving her maid/sidekick Shabbo (Divya Dutta) to cover for her.

In India, Zaara's bus crashes, and she's rescued by handsome Indian Air Force rescue pilot Veer Pratap Singh.  She drops her bag during the rescue and insists on retrieving it; after they've made it to safety, Veer scolds her and stomps off.  That's not the end of the story, though; she bumps into him later, apologizes and explains that her bag contains Zahida's ashes, and Veer decides to help her on her journey so that he won't have to spend his life wondering what happened to that Pakistani girl.

After further delay and misadventure, Zaara succeeds in performing last rites for Zahida.  She asks Veer how she can ever repay him for his help, and he asks her for another day.  He takes her to his home village, introduces her to his aunt Saraswati (Hema Malini) and uncle Choudhary (Amitabh Bachchan), they celebrate Lohri, and everybody has a wonderful time and grows much closer.  It is really obvious to Choudhary that Veer loves Zaara, and he urges the younger man to confess his feelings before it's too late.

The next day, it's time for Zaara to return home to Pakistan.  Veer takes her to the train station, but before he can confess his love, they are met by Zaara's fiance, Raza (manoj Bajpal) and she quickly explains that her marriage has already been arranged.  Veer confesses his love anyway, but makes it absolutely clear that he doesn't intend to interfere with her wedding, and he goes away.

Of course Zaara loves Veer as well, and after she returns home she starts feeling his presence everywhere she looks; once again, there's a whole song about it. Shabbo can't stand to see her falling apart like this,. so she quietly contacts Veer.  He promptly leaves the Air Force (since an active officer can't visit Pakistan), crosses the border, and appears at one of the pre-wedding ceremonies.  Zaara runs to embrace him, while her husband collapses from shock.  Normally, that would be the end of the movie, but Veer-Zaara is three hours long, and there's a lot of crying still to come.

Zaara's mother Mariyam (Kirron Kher) approaches Veer and asks him to leave in order to save her husband's life (and political career, but she doesn't dwell on that.)  Veer is a noble soul, and agrees.  He talks to Zaara, and they decide to go their separate ways, live the best lives possible, and just keep loving one another hopelessly forever.  

They part, but when Veer boards the bus to take him back to India, he's arrested as a spy and dragged off to jail.  There Raza shows up to gloat, and tells Veeer that if Veer signs the confession, he'll ensure that Zaara has a blissfully happy life, but if Veer doesn't sign, he'll do everything possible to make her life hell.

Veer signs without hesitation, and becomes Prisoner 786.  The bus he was supposed to be on drives off a cliff, leaving no survivors, so as far as the world knows, Veer Pratap Singh no longer exists.  In the present Saamiya tries to convince Veer to let her get Zaara to testify, but he is a man of his word and won't do anything to risk her happiness.  Saamiya knows the case is probably lost without Zaara, but Veer is stubborn, so instead she travels to India, hoping to find someone from his village who can identify him.  She is not prepared for what she finds there.

Raza is terrible, but the real villain of Veer-Zaara is . . . okay, the real villain is still Raza.  He's the absolute worst, and he stands out even more because nearly all the other characters are so nice.  But the other real villain of Veer-Zaara is the border itself; one of the key themes of the film is that the only thing that really separates Pakistan's Punjab from India's Punjab is the border itself.  The land looks the same on both sides of the border, and the people share a culture and values, but that line on the map is enough to let Raza destroy a man's life out of spite.

One of the advertising taglines for Veer-Zaara was "A New Love Legend," and the film is definitely pitched as "grand, sweeping romantic drama."  It mostly succeeds, do ion large part to the cast; Shah Rukh is in his element here, showcasing goofy charm and teary nobility.  Preity made her name as the bubbly carefree love interest, and Zaara gives her the chance to transition form that to very much not that.  And Rani Mukherji is here to show sincerity and marvel at the noble spirits of the star-crossed lovers, and she sells sincere marveling completely.

That's not to say the movie is perfect. The script is suitably epic, but some of the plotting gets a bit muddled; the biggest unexplained plot hole is just how Saamiya knew Veer's name in the first place.  Also, the old age makeup used for present day Veer and Zaara is a bit distracting, especially since both characters are in their mid-forties at most.  But these are tiny issues.  Veer-Zaara promises grand romance, and it keeps its promises.