Saturday, September 28, 2019

Eight brides for seven and a half brothers.

It’s no secret that Bollywood movies frequently lift plots form Hollywood. Sometimes these Bollywood remakes are scrupulously, tediously faithful to their source. Sometimes they adapt the story without thinking about the different cultural context, leading to a movie which doesn’t make very much sense. And sometimes you get the occasional bit of mad genius, which twists, spindles, folds, and mutilates the original story into something unexpected. Satte Pe Satta (1982) is a fine example of the latter; someone in India watched Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and thought, “This would be better if there was a professional hit man.” And they were right.

Ravi (Amitabh Bachchan) is the oldest of seven brothers (Shakti Kapoor, Sachin, Paintal, Sudhir, Kanwalji Singh, and Inderjeet.) Both parents died when even Ravi was very young, so the brothers have been forced to raise themselves. Results have been mixed; the brothers run a successful farm, and have formed a stable and loving (if quarrelsome) family unit, but they’re also a batch of crude, ill-mannered horse wrestling rowdies who fight at the drop of a dime and don’t bathe.

Things change when Ravi meets independent, tough-minded Indu (Hema Malini). He’s immediately smitten, and tries to woo her in his own rough way, only to be shot down in the bluntest and most direct terms possible. Undeterred, Ravi decides to try not being a weird scary loner who smells; he shaves, changes his clothes, and does his best to act like a civilized person. It works! After a song, the pair are married.

Ravi’s brothers are an unpleasant surprise for Indu; during the entire courtship, the only brother he even mentioned was the charming youngest, Shani (Sachin), and she only learns of their existence when the happy couple arrive at the farmhouse to discover a full-fledged brawl going on. She adjusts quickly, however, and before long she’s managed to train the brothers to a near approximation of civilization. For their part, the brothers have decided that women aren’t so bad after all, and are interested in finding wives of their own. And that’s when they catch sight of paraplegic heiress Seema (Ranjeeta Kaur) and her six attendants (including Prema Narayan, Madhu Malhotra, Aradhna, and Asha Sachdev; the IMDB doesn’t have a complete list) frolicking on the beach.

Now if you’ve seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, you know where this is going. The boys fall for the girls, and after various hijinks, including a brawl at the Red Cross charity ball, they kidnap their intended brides. Indu puts her foot down, but circumstances prevent the girls from going home, giving everyone a chance to fall in love.

However, Seema has an uncle named Ranjit Singh (Amjak Khan). Ranjit is very worried about being seen as a wicked uncle out to murder his defenseless ward and claim her inheritance, largely because he is a wicked uncle out to murder his defenseless ward and claim her inheritance, but he doesn’t want to get caught. After his personal henchman (Mac Mohan) fails to arrange an “accident,” Ranjit recruits the extremely scary and dangerous Babu, who has just been released from prison and looks an awful lot like Ravi.

The impressive thing about Satte Pe Satta is how smoothly the film makes the transition from lighthearted Hollywood-style musical comedy to 70s Bollywood action movie. Ranjit acts like a classic Bollywood villain, complete with island lair. (Sadly, he does not have a throne room full of deathtraps and go-go dancers, but I guess we can’t have everything.) And the main characters are drawn well enough that they can move between genres without changing personalities, while most of the brothers and all of Seema’s attendants are such ciphers that they have no real personalities to change.

In the end, this is an extremely silly movie, but it’s the best kind of silly; it’s bright, cheerful, and far too busy being entertaining to worry about the unfortunate implications of abducting potential brides.

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