Friday, September 27, 2019

Meet the parent.

The stern father is one of the most common stock figures in Bollywood. He’s always there to disapprove of young love, whether by glowering and making angry speeches or by hiring assassins. Usually he frowns upon the match because of class or caste issues, but sometimes, as in Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi (1997), he is exactly right.

The stern father in question is Badri Prasad (Kader Khan), self made man and wealthy exporter of fish and fish byproducts. We first see Badri rejecting a potential suitior for his daughter Shalu (Juhi Chawla) because while the young man is very rich, he’s never actually worked a day in his life; Badri knows that wealth can be fleeting, and he wants to be sure that his daughter will be taken care of no matter what happens.
I have this exact outfit.
Shalu herself is bright, spunky, and a huge fan of Amitabh Bachchan. It’s the latter fact that gets her in trouble. When the unctuous Vicky (Gulshan Grover) harasses her at the gym, she reacts with Big B’s swaggering bravado, despite the fact that she’s a tiny little thing with absolutely no combat training. Still, she acquits herself well, thrashing Vicky and two or three of his goons. Eventually, she is outnumbered and overwhelmed, and has to call upon handsome stranger Raja (Akshay Kumar) to save her.
It's funny because somebody got hurt.
Raja is charming, essentially good natured, and very very good at kicking people in the face. He’s also exactly the kind of man Shalu’s father warned her about. He’s well educated, with several degrees, but he doesn’t have a job because his astrologer uncle (Satish Kaushik) says that within a year, he’ll be king, and it wouldn’t do for a future king to work. He’s so wrapped up in astrology, in fact, that he waits before stepping in to save Shalu, since his uncle has warned him not to hit anybody before noon.

After the rescue, Shalu is smitten. (Nobody ever falls in love in a David Dhawan movie unless a gang of potential rapists has been beaten up first. They’re like bees.) She falls even more in love with Raja after she accidentally runs him over, and he takes the blame and refuses to press charges.
Mac Mohan in a rare non-evil role.
Her father does not approve of the match (and rightfully so,) but she takes him out for a drive and they calmly discuss the matter until he reluctantly gives his blessing.
Did you hear something?
Unfortunately, Shalu forgot to check with Raja. His uncle has warned him to stay away from single women, so he’s not interested in her advances. Shalu goes home, cries, shoots the furniture, and threatens to shoot herself (I like Shalu, but she’s a complete psycho) until Badri Prasad promises to fix things. Since he is a Magnificent Bastard, Badri goes straight to the source of the problem, and bullies Raja’s uncle into making a new prediction. Soon, the happy couple are engaged.
Insert sacred cow joke here.
Raja is still an arrogant, lazy twit, however, so Badri adds a condition to the match - Raja must present him with 100,000 rupees before getting married. Raja promises to get the money, and quickly comes up with a wacky scheme - if he invites one thousand people to the wedding, and they each give him one hundred rupees as a wedding present, his problem will be solved.
I give this plan my seal of approval.
At the wedding ceremony, when Badri asks for the money, Raja explains his plan. Badri tries to cancel the wedding (since the deal was money before the ceremony, and presents come afterward) but Shalu threatens to set herself on fire (since she’s a psycho) so he allows the ceremony to proceed, but frightens the guests away before they can give Raja anything.

That night, Raja enters the bridal chamber, and finds . . . Badri, who calmly explains the new deal - 100,000 rupees before he can touch Shalu. And that sets up the basic conflict of the film - Raja tries to weasel around the specific terms of the deal, while Badri tries to teach his new son-in-law some responsibility.

While Raja is the nominal protagonist, Badri is clearly the hero here. Everything he does is designed to make Raja finally grow up, and while he’s a Magnificent Bastard, he never descends into villainy. He’s also much more reasonable than you’d expect; after Raja wastes time with wacky schemes he modifies the deal and allows Raja to pay in installments, when Amrish Puri would have just killed him.
It's not a real apology unless you're dressed as Batman.
The inversion of familiar Bollywood tropes isn’t the only thing to like about Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi. The movie doesn’t take full advantage of Juhui Chawla’s Amitabh impression, but it’s great fun while it lasts, and while Shalu does fade into the background after marriage (having become a prize to be won rather than an active agent in the plot) but she still retains a distinct personality, and she’s still funny. In the end the movie is light frothy fun, and thinking too hard about it will only make your head hurt a little bit.
Is there any problem that Sumo Wrestling can't solve?

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