I dream of Durga.

It took more than a decade for Meri Biwi Ka Jawab Nahin (2004) to make it into theaters, and it shows. This is clearly a movie from the early nineties, rather than the slick, post Dil Chahta Hai Bollywood of the new millennium. And that’s okay, because Meri Biwi is a really good movie from the early nineties.

Ajay (Akshay Kumar) is a new recruit in the Mumbai police force. He is, naturally, fearless, compassionate, and incorruptible, though perhaps a bit reckless. Ajay gets results, mainly by beating up large groups of armed men, and is doing well enough to summon his wife Durga (Sridevi) from their native village.

Durga is very much the stereotypical simple village belle; she’s illiterate, doesn’t speak English, and has no idea of how to behave in “proper” society. She’s also a bit childish, addicted to creature comforts, and has a hard time understanding when Ajay has to focus on his police duties rather than her. Still, Durga quickly settles into city life, and befriends a number of people in the neighborhood, most notably sassy tobacconist Gangu (Jayshree T) and Radha, younger sister of shady cab driver Ballu (Gulshan Grover, surprisingly buff and not at all weaselly.)

Radha is in love with Shyam, a good looking young man with a wealthy father. What she doesn’t realize is that Shyam’s father is, in fact, Bhairav (Anupam Kher,) a one-eyed, snaggletoothed gangster who made his money by harvesting the kidneys of poor people. Bhairav pretends to approve of the match, but he’s secretly planning to marry Shyam off to the daughter of ASP Chaurasia, a spectacularly corrupt police official (and Ajay’s boss.)

Bhairav and Chaurasia have money, power, and a small army of henchmen. Radha has Durga. It’s really no contest; Durga may be a flighty housewife and neighborhood gossip with an unhealthy sunglass fixation, but she’s also an action hero in her own right, easily capable of dispatching a roomful of armed men all by herself, and she fights dirty. If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Lucy Ricardo were Batman, this is the movie for you.

Like a lot of delayed releases, Meri Biwi Ka Jawab Nahin was clearly stitched together, and the seams show. There are a number of scenes where Durga and Ajay are shot in silhouette or from the back in order to hide the fact that Akshay and Sridevi were no longer available for filming, and one of the later dance numbers is composed almost entirely of clips from the earlier dance numbers, set to a new song. The movie is anything but polished, but that doesn’t stop me from loving it.

I’m impressed by the delicate balance Meri Biwi manages to strike between Durga and Ajay, and between social commentary and big dumb action movie. Ajay and Durga are about equally good at beating people up, and they never overshadow one another; she never becomes a victim, and he never becomes a brute. Similarly, the movie places a high value on family and personal connections without ever devolving into a parade of misery. This is a movie with a strong (but imperfect) female protagonist, and yet nobody gets set on fire.