Saturday, September 28, 2019

Go big or go home.

Veer (2010) is Salman Khan’s answer to Asoka or Mangal Pandey, an over the top “historical” epic starring Khan as a fiery revolutionary who robs trains, overthrows a city, jousts against a giant, quotes Shaw, woos a princess, invents Jazz, and helps to inspire a revolution through overwhelming wonderfulness. I am so there.

Veer‘s heroic revolutionaries are the Pindaris, historically an organization of raiders who operated in northern India in the 18th and early 19th centuries. As presented in the film, though, the Pindaris are basically Klingons; they’re hard drinking, hard fighting warriors obsessed with honor and reclaiming their lost land, who settle all internal disputes through duels to the death.

After the Pindaris help Raja Gyanendra Singh (Jackie Shroff) win a crucial battle, his British allies attempt to wipe them out, killing thousands. Pindari leader Prithvi Singh (Mithun Chakraborty) escapes after chopping off Gyanendra’s hand, but he doesn’t know how to overcome the British and their natural cunning . . . until he learns that his wife has given birth to a son.

Years pass, and Prithvi’s oldest son Veer (Salman Khan) has grown into a fine example of Pimdari manhood, handsome, brave, and honorable. While robbing a train, he catches sight of Princess Yashodhara (Zarine Khan), and is immediately smitten.

Prithvi has arranged for Veer and his brother Poonam (Sohail Khan) to study in London, in order to better understand the fiendish intricacies of the British mind. (According to the film, this educational system is explicitly an evil scheme by the British to corrupt the minds of tribal leaders so that they will be better slaves. Fortunately, Veer is too smart to be corrupted.) Veer wants to search for his princess rather than go to London, but he is a good son and does what his father tells him . . . which is fortunate, because the princess’s carriage nearly runs him over within ten minutes after he arrives in the city.

Conveniently, Princess Yashodhara is attending the same college as Veer. Of course, she’s royalty, while he’s a poor tribesman, so there’s a social barrier between them, a barrier her sadistic brother Gajendra (Puru Rajkumar) is very interested in preserving. Still, Veer isn’t going to let that stop him, and after a few mishaps he manages to win her heart.

And then Yashadhara’s father visits. She’s eager to introduce the new man in her life, but when Veer realizes that her father is family nemesis Gyanendra, he makes himself scarce. Unfortunately, her father and brother also realize that the man she’s in love with is a Pindari. Gajendra and his men capture and torture Poonam, and Veer charges to the rescue. Soon, Poonam and Veer have left England, Gajendra is dead, and Yashadhara is the crown princess and heir apparent, sworn to defend her kingdom against all enemies, including the Pindaris.

Back in India, Gyanendra is determined to wipe the Pindaris out, once and for all. Yashadhara is determined to do her duty as princess, even if it means fighting the man she loves. Prithvi is determined to behead Gyanendra and as many of the British as he can get his hands on. And Veer is determined carry away his bride, but only with her consent; he’s smart enough to realize that brutally murdering her father in front of her would make that difficult. Not everybody can have a happy ending.

The history in Veer is pretty much nonsense; Veer himself was explicitly born in 1868, which is more than forty years after the historical Pinaris were defeated, and that is far from the worst anachronism in the movie. Really, it’s best to just accept that the movie takes place in a strange alternate universe where the Victorians had sports cars and fedoras and the Indian Rebellion of 1857 was inspired by events that took place thirty years later.

But of course nobody watches these movies for the history; Veer may not be historical, but it is certainly an epic, full of grand battles, doomed love, conflicted loyalties, and patriotic speeches. The good guys win (mostly), the bad guys die horribly, and nobody really changes. It may well signify nothing, but check out the sound and fury!

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