Friday, September 27, 2019

One bad day.

Despite the title, Speed (2007) has nothing to do with bombs, buses, or Sandra Bullock. Instead, it takes the basic premise from a different Hollywood film, Cellular, adds an overly complicated assassination plot, and then tosses in action sequences lifted from such movies as Kill Bill and Romeo Must Die.

Zayed Khan plays Sandeep ‘Sandy’ Arora, a spoiled rich kid who flies to London hoping to convince his estranged girlfriend Sanjana (Tanushree Dutta) to marry him. Even a musical number fails to win her over, so Sandy goes to fetch his suitcase, which contains the perfect gift to convince Sanjana that he’s changed and is now mature and ready for marriage - a teddy bear!
Yeah, THIS will prove that you're mature.
Meanwhile, soccer mom and science teacher Richa Verma (Urmila Matondkar) has been kidnapped by terrorists Kabir Khan (Aftab Shivdasani, clean shaven and sporting a terrible haircut) and Monica (Sophiya Chaudhary). Richa manages to MacGyver the broken phone in the burned out barn where she’s being held, and tries to call her husband.
And not very good with children.
Instead, she gets through to Sandy, just as he’s about to put his terrible, terrible teddy bear plan into action. Sandy is suspicious, but after overhearing the kidnappers being eeeevil he’s quickly convinced. He tries to tell the police, but gets thrown out of the station, so instead Sandy is left running around London trying his best to help her, all while keeping the line open. And he screws up.

Richa’s husband Siddharth (Sanjay Suri) is also having a bad day. he is not, as Richa thinks, a chef; he’s an agent of MI-5, hard at work trying to decrypt a mysterious transmission when he’s interrupted by a phone call from the people who have kidnapped his wife. He’s sent on a series of mysterious errands, but it’s clear that the kidnappers are planing something big, something involving the visiting Prime Minister of India (Suhasini Mulay).
Urmila has the finest crazy eyes in the business.
After reading some other online reviews, it’s clear that I am the only person in the world who liked Speed, but I liked Speed. While the plot is baroque in the way that only a Bollywood thriller can be, the pace is such that it never has a chance to drag.

It helps that the movie has a fantastic cast. Sanjay Suri’s Siddharth is no James Bond, he’s a decent family man caught up in extraordinary circumstances. And Zayed Khan’s Sandy undergoes some actual character development. At the beginning of the movie, Sanjana is completely correct; Sandy is an immature screw-up. It’s only when he takes the initiative and stops looking to other people to tell him what to do that he’s able to become an effective hero. It’s not Hamlet, but it worked for me.
That would be a short movie.

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