I know what you did about a week ago.

Dhund: The Fog (2003) bills itself as “a musical thriller,” and it certainly features more singing and dancing than the average Bollywood thriller. In fact, after a brief introductory murder, the beginning of the film plays out very much like a traditional college romance.

Sameer (Amar Upadhyaya) and Kunal (Apoorva Agnihotri) are two goofy guys working for a Mumbai advertising firm. While searching for a fresh new face, they happen to spot Simran (Aditi Govitrikar) and her cousin Kajal (Divya Palat), who are performing a huge song and dance number at the water park for no particular reason. Sameer takes some photos, and soon Simran’s face is on a magazine cover.

Unfortunately, nobody thought to ask Simran’s permission, let alone offer to pay her for the pictures. Simran is furious. Her uncle, rich industrialist Rajendra Malhotra (Prem Chopra) isn’t all that concerned, so she drags family friend and police inspector Ashutosh Khanna (Gulshan Grover) down to the ad agency to arrest Sameer and Kunal. When they talk their way out of being arrested by offering Khanna a part in a commercial, Simran promises to sue them instead.

Sameer isn’t worried – he plans to make Simran fall in love with him by staging a fake mugging. (Sameer either watches too much Bollywood, or not enough; the fake mugging as attempted courtship trope is used all the time, but it never, ever works.) The fake mugging is, naturally, a complete disaster, but as soon as Sameer declares his love, Simran falls for him anyway. Kajal and Kunal also promptly fall in love, because they don’t have anything better to do. Then they all go to a night club for another dance number.

So much for the musical. What about the thriller? Simran plans to enter a beauty pageant. Her college rival Tanya (Shweta Menon) was hoping to enter as well, but when she learns that Simran will be competing, she gives up in despair. Tanya’s brother Ajit (Irrfan Khan with a stupid haircut) decides to take mattersinto his own hands; first by making a series of threatening phone calls, and then by going to her house when she’s alone, killing her dog, and telling her face to face that he will murder her if she competes. Rather than sensibly going to the police (because it’s not like she has a close family friend who’s highly placed in the department and used to indulging her whims) the quartet ignore the threats, and she competes anyway.

Naturally, Simran wins the pageant. Just as naturally, the four friends go to the isolated Malhotra farmhouse in Khandala to celebrate. The boys send the servant away, hoping for a little wet sari in the rain action. The girls then send the boys away for some late night grocery shopping, and that’s when Ajit shows up to deliver the promised murder. And after a brief but bloody fight, the girls kill him.

Sameer and Kunal return, too late to do anything useful, and the four decide to dump the body by the railroad tracks rather than go to the police, because they are idiots. (It’s a clear case of self defense, though their defense would be even stronger if they’d gone to the police after the first threatening phone call.)

After a bungled body drop (have I mentioned that these people are idiots?) Ajit’s body is tied to a statue and dropped into the Malhotas’ disused, algae covered pool. (The Malhotras can’t afford a poolboy?) They plan to get rid of the body when it’s safe, but before they have a chance, a suspicious Khanna drains the pool, and discovers . . . nothing. The body has disappeared. Somebody knows what they did. And then Simran starts seeing Ajit lurking around the house. And then the bodies start piling up.

Dhund is a very silly movie. The beginning of the film hits every possible Bollywood college romance cliche in rapid succession, while the “thriller” portions of the film played out like a straight-laced version of Scooby Doo, complete with a scene in which Simran and the killer walk in and out of nearby doors, always just missing one another.

The cast are, for the most part, pretty, bland, and forgettable, with the notable exception of Irrfan Khan, who is completely wasted here; Khan is one of Indian cinema’s most gifted actors, and he spends most of his screen time in Dhund staring silently at the camera and trying to look menacing. On the bright side, though, the film succeeds as a musical. The songs are insanely catchy, and the first number features an honest to goodness chorus line.