Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Why's it called "Jeans," anyway?

Another day, another Bollywood movie, another hideously bad plan. Today’s film was Jeans, and while the plan in the film isn’t quite as bad as the “Let’s hire a prostitute for a year” plan from Chori Chori Chupke Chupke, it was close. But let me provide some background, first.
Jeans stars the gorgeous Aishwarya Rai as Madhu, who accompanies her brother (Madhesh) and grandmother to the US for her grandmother’s brain operation. At the airport, they discover that Madhesh has forgotten the adress they were supposed to stay at, and Immigration won’t let them into the country without it. At the last moment, though, they’re rescued by a passing stranger. Vishu, making deliveries for a local restaurant, claims that they’re with him, and gives Immigration his own address. As Madhu and family make their way through the airport, they’re alternately rescued again by Vishu and confused because he doesn’t seem to recognize them; in the end, they discover Vishu has an identical twin, Ramu!
Vishu and Ramyu not only look identical, they also dress identically. In fact, they do everything together, studying together during the day as medical students, and working together in the afternoon and evening at their father’s restaurant, Gandhi’s Indian Cuisine (which is a real restaurant in Las Vegas; the setting for the American portions of the film wavers between Vegas, Southern California, and (occasionally) New York. Mostly Vegas, though.) There’s a reason for the twins’ extreme togetherness; their father insists upon them dressing identically; he’s determined that the boys are never seperated in their lives.
Grandmother has her operation, but is left mute and paralyzed. Luckily, Vishu is there - a glance at the grandmother’s chart identifies the problem. Her tumor was on the left side of her brain, and the doctor had operated on the right! When he confronts the hospital administration, they . . . quickly admit responsibility, correct the error (grandmother makes a rapid recovery) and give the family a check for 2.5 million dollars. (This movie was not made by Americans.)
Throughout all this drama, Madhu and Vishu have (naturally) fallen in love. The trouble arises when grandmother approaches the twins’ father about a possible marriage; the father insists that his sons marry twin sisters. We learn that the father is a twin himself, and strife between their respective wives led to the death of one wife and one of the brothers being forced to move to America. He absolutley will not let his son marry a woman without a twin sister.
Here’s where the bad plan comes in. The grandmother immediately invents a twin for Madhu. She claims that before Madhu’s birth, the astrologer had predicted twins; if the twins were boys, Madhu’s father would rule the world (!) but if they were girls, he’d die before the age of forty. To save the girls’ lives, one daughter was given to the Brahmin housemaid to raise, while the other was taken home.
This is all a big fat lie, of course. And as they all return to India to track down the imaginary twin, complications ensue. Madhu’s parents are incapable of lying, so her mother takes a vow of silence while her father is reduced to speaking gibberish. Madhu has to impersonate her own sister (with a pair of glasses seemingly borrowed from Clark Kent), and Ramu immediately falls in love with “her”. Luckily for grandmother, Madhesh turns out to be a brilliant special effects technician, able to produce effects worthy of a holodeck.
The plot is every bit as strange as it sounds, but that’s not too unusual for Bollywood. And to the film’s credit, there is no Deus Ex Machina; the characters have to work out their situation the hard way.
The music and dancing in this film is, at times, spectacular, though the special effects can be a little distracting at times. (And the cameo appearance by the T-Rex from Jurassic Park is totally unnecessary.)
If the movie has a weak spot, though, it’s Aishwarya. She’s playing the Indian good girl here, and when she impersonates her twin, she’s playing the Indian Even Gooder Girl. She’s so shy here that she’s rendered nearly mute, communicating mostly with pained glances and strangled sighs. It’s too much. I’ve seen Aishwarya in other films, and she’s put in much better performances; this is a very early film for her, so perhaps she can be forgiven for being a little weak.

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