Thursday, September 26, 2019

World's most favorite detective.

Start with the 1995 real-time thriller Nick of Time. Move the location from LA to Goa. Add in elements from at least three separate Jackie Chan films, a classic O. Henry story, and while you’re at it toss in a heaping helping of Bondish gadgetry as well. Since you can’t make a proper Bollywood film with just one plotline, add a mistaken identity subplot, a romantic track, and maybe give the hero an ailing mother. Add in songs, cast Shahrukh as the lead, Amrish Puri as the bad guy, and Johny Lever as the “comedic” sidekick, and what do you get? A confused mess, naturally. But if you’re very lucky, it will be a glorious mess, like Baadshah (1999).

Baadshah (Shahrukh Khan) is a private detective. At least, he wants to be, but the business is floundering. While he has just recovered stolen diamonds for a client in spectacular fashion, the resulting property damage wiped out all the profit. Baadshah’s luck finally changes when K. Jhunjhunwala (Avtar Gill) walks in with a new case. Naturally, the case involves a dame, and the dame is trouble. The best kind of trouble, with dark hair, long legs, and the kind of eyes a man could drown in, drown so deep that Cousteau will never find you . . . Sorry. Momentary Raymond Chandler overdose.

Jhunjhunwala says that he has a brain tumor, but before he flies to America he wants to see his daughter marry the man he’s picked out for her. Unfortunately, the daughter is one of those pesky modern girls who wants to marry for love. Jhunjhunwala’s story isn’t quite the whole truth, but Baadshah doesn’t know that, so he takes the case.

The plan is simple. Baadshah will make Seema (Twinkle Khanna) fall in love with him, and then break her heart, at which point she will naturally marry the man of her father’s choice. Baadshah goes undercover and woos her with a truly improbable story. Of course she falls for it (and him), and, just like every other movie where a man is hired to break a woman’s heart, he falls in love with her as well. Still, Baadshah is a man of his word, so he completes the job.

Meanwhile, the CBI have learned of a plot by corrupt businessman Suraj Singh Thapar (Amrish Puri) to assassinate Gayatri Bachchan (Raakhee), the Chief Minister of GAO. The CBI decide to send an agent to Goa to protect her. The agent is given the code name “Baadshah.” Thapar finds out about the agent, and sends his right hand woman Rani (Deepshika) to find the agent, kill him, and replace him with her boyfriend, Moti (Sharat Saxena), so that Moti can kill Gayatri in peace. While all this is happening, our Baadshah is hired by a former client to rescue his kidnapped daughter (Baby Karishma), who is being held for ransom in . . . Goa.

Wackiness ensues on a grand scale. Seema shows up again, and Baadshah tries to win her back. Mistaken identities abound. Everyone thinks Baadshah is working for them. And when the smoke clears, Thapar has the kid, and Baadshah has a gun, and instructions to kill Gayatri, or else the little girl will die.

At times, I think Bollywood subscribes to the Voltron school of filmmaking: each movie is made up of several smaller movies, which combine to form a greater whole. That’s certainly the case here. We have a lowbrow romantic comedy, and then a wacky action comedy, and then a tense dramatic thriller, and then a bit more comedy at the end. The parts don’t really hold together, and the overall plot crumbles under close examination, but the film commits so wholeheartedly to each sub-film that I found it hard not to be swept along.

The acting is generally unremarkable. Shahrukh is Shahrukh, mostly in comic mode, but it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. Twinkle Khanna is very pretty and often very badly dressed, but never has much opportunity to display much acting skill. The real stand-out is Amrish Puri, who creates yet another memorable villain. Thapar is undeniably evil, but it’s a jolly kind of evil, like a beloved uncle who will kill you if you don’t pull his finger.

The action is less bloody than usual in Bollywood, and more creative. There are some very clever stunts; my favorite features Baadshah defeating an enemy armed only with x-ray glasses and a pair of shoes. The song and dance numbers are also quite good. the title song in particular is insanely catchy. (It’s stuck in my head as I type this.)

In the end, the only thing keeping Baadshah from becoming a guilty pleasure for me is the fact that I don’t feel guilty about it.

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